You didn’t come here to have us explain why we’re comparing local athletes to food; you just want the goods.
It’s almost like the way you show up to family parties on Thanksgiving.
Let’s get straight into it:
Christian Gonzalez – Gravy
If you didn’t have gravy, there’s a pretty high chance the rest of your Thanksgiving meal is going to suck. We don’t eat turkey and stuffing year-round for a reason. Gonzalez has the same impact on the Patriots’ defense, which is a pretty uninspiring unit without him.
Rafael Devers – Rolls
We don’t want to be offensive, but both of these things are pillowy and crucial at the plate.
Kayshon Boutte – Candied Carrots
Boutte wasn’t supposed to be as good as he’s been, but at the end of the day, no one is complaining about having him around. We don’t exactly want to see them become a crucial part of dinners moving forward, however.
David Pastrnak – Pasta
We have to represent the North End, right?
Juan Soto – Brisket
Soto doesn’t technically play in Boston. Brisket doesn’t really belong on a Thanksgiving table. We’d all be happier if they did, though.
Derrick White and Jrue Holiday – Mac & Cheese
They’re at their best together and make everyone around them better
Drake Maye – Turkey
Maye is the franchise quarterback, which will forever be the representative for turkey on these lists. It’s the backbone of the most important meals of the year, just like the 22-year-old has become the backbone for the most important franchise in the region.
Jayson Tatum – Cranberry Sauce
You either love it or hate it. What you can’t argue, though, is that they’re both popular and have earned their spot at the table.
Jaylen Brown – Mashed Potatoes
It’s the best No. 2 you could possibly ask for. Brown, much like our favorite form of potatoes, will never be a foundational piece, but he makes everything better and has earned plenty of love and recognition for his contributions to Boston.
Jeremy Swayman – Pumpkin Pie
Swayman cost a pretty penny, but at the end of the day you can count on him to deliver when it counts the most. RELATED: Stop & Shop is charging like $9.99 for a freakin’ pie this year, which is absurd.
