DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER weeks of suspecting my husband was cheating, I caught him looking at naked women on his phone through the reflection in our living room window.
Now I don’t know if I should feel relieved that he’s not having an affair or angry that he’s betraying me in order to gratify himself.
I’m 52, my husband is 56, and we’ve been married for 24 years.
We’ve always had a great relationship, but in recent years we’ve grown distant, and our sexlife has taken a hit.
Over the last few weeks, I’d noticed how guarded he had become with his phone.
Whether he was turning the screen away from me or turning the brightness down, I was paranoid that he was talking to other women.
He’s on his phone 24/7 but it wasn’t until I noticed the reflection of his phone that I realised he’d been indulging in online porn.
Now I’m at a loss. I know he’s not actually ‘cheating’ but I feel so hurt.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Whether he’s cheated or not, your husband has still betrayed your trust and left you feeling hurt.
It’s best if you both deal with this problem head-on. If your sexlife is suffering, it’s likely that he’s turned to porn to fill that void.
If possible, suggest you both attend sex therapy together. Contact COSRT (cosrt.org.uk) who can help you find a reputable sex and relationship therapist.
I’m sending you my support packs How To Look After Your Relationship, to help.
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