We often consider the things that hurt to be more meaningful, and this is particularly true when it comes to matters of the heart. It’s been said many times before that love is pain. We have been led to believe that if a relationship feels easy, it probably won’t last.
So instead, we seek out a chase, a fight. We claim a painful love has more depth, more range, more something to make it feel real. We believe that if we aren’t sacrificing everything for our partner, it can’t really be love. If we aren’t aching and battling for their time, attention, and care, we haven’t truly earned those things at all.
We operate on the assumption that the harder we fall, the bigger the bruise, the more profound the impact. We figure the lingering sting proves how big our love for the other person is. After all, why would we go through all the misery, the torment, if not for something as noble as love?
But here’s the thing: Love doesn’t need to hurt in order to feel real. Your partner should bring you calm, not more calamity. Someone you’re meant to be with won’t feel like an open wound; they’ll feel like coming home.
Falling in love shouldn’t feel like diving into quicksand. It shouldn’t feel dangerous or unstable. Instead of looking for the tidal waves, find adventure in the calm. Seek wonder in the fact they exist at the same time as you and that you got to cross paths.
This is not to say your relationship will always be easy, it won’t be. It takes work to compromise, to trust, to bring two people together to walk through life. But if you’re doing it right, if you are putting in the effort, you’ll find it’ll be worth it.
Because it will be real, and you’ll know it’s true because when you wake up in the middle of the night, and all you can make out of your partner is the outline of their back as they sleep, you will feel peace. You will feel safe. You will feel whole. But mostly, you will feel love.
