Everyone needs to be totally blown away by my presentation.
This project has to be just right.
If there are any mistakes, they’ll think I’m incompetent.
If any of these phrases – or related worries – resonate with you, then you may be struggling with perfectionism. Unfortunately, as I often say – perfectionism is the Achilles’ heel of the ambitious.
Let me explain: In an attempt to be perfect, ambitious people actually limit themselves. They can be afraid to take risks or try new things for fear of not immediately being adept at them. They burn out from their relentless pace, people-pleasing, and overworking often in inefficient ways – rechecking or stressing about minor details.
Or they may even engage in perfectionism-fuelled procrastination, avoiding starting tasks or projects altogether because their expectations are so unrealistically high. Striving for perfection makes people terrified of making mistakes or looking less than flawless. So, their lives actually get smaller.
If perfectionism is so detrimental and actually counterproductive, what is the solution? Thankfully, it’s not that we need to become lazy or acquiesce to mediocrity and stagnation. The actual answer? Excellence.
Excellence allows for high achievement and our humanity. It empowers us to accept the truth that as humans, we will make mistakes – and rather than fear them, we can learn from them.
When we aim for excellence, the goal becomes progress (learning, growing, contributing, moving forward) – not merely people-pleasing. We value both process and outcome. We strive to be our best, while recognising that our best will differ by the day (for example after a good night’s sleep vs. when we’re coping with the flu, jet lag, or a recent breakup) – because we’re human!
So, the next time you are assigned an important task, project, or to-do item – and you notice yourself thinking, “This needs to be perfect,” or worrying, “What if people realise I’m not as talented as they thought I was?” – remind yourself kindly: “This does not need to be perfect. I don’t have to be perfect. No person is perfect. I can work to make this excellent and that will help me move forward.”
And when you shift from striving for perfection to aiming for excellence, you may just feel yourself exhale in both mind and body. (We often hold our breath when we feel anxious or overwhelmed.) You’ve now successfully released the limiting pressure of trying to be perfect.
And that’s exactly when you’ll be able to feel and perform at your best.
You can learn more science-based, actionable strategies to boost your calm and confidence in Mary E. Anderson’s book, The Happy High Achiever: 8 Essentials to Overcome Anxiety, Manage Stress, and Energise Yourself for Success––Without Losing Your Edge – the book that our senior editor Dayna McAlpine says ‘changed her work life for good.’
