Lindsay Lohan’s Netflix holiday rom-coms are becoming a great new tradition. Her 2022 effort, Falling for Christmas, was an instant festive classic and this year’s St. Patrick’s Day fantasy romance Irish Wish was ridiculous and entertaining in equal measure. Lohan is ideal casting in a whimsical genre flick that doesn’t lean too hard on logic and she’s particularly good at embodying problematic, annoying women who become kinder over the course of the story. So it’s disappointing to acknowledge that Our Little Secret, Lohan’s latest holiday film, doesn’t quite give the actress her due.
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OUR LITTLE SECRET ★★ (2/4 stars) |
Lohan plays Avery, a nice girl with immaculate hair who otherwise doesn’t have any defining characteristics. Avery grows up with Logan (a well-cast Ian Harding), her best friend and eventual boyfriend who decimates their relationship when she decides to move to London after the death of her mother. A decade passes without any communication between the two—until they inadvertently end up spending Christmas in the same house. Logan is now dating the vapid, similarly undefined Cassie (Katie Baker) and Avery is paired off with Cameron (Jon Rudnitsky), a decent guy who is still pining after his childhood flame Sophie (Ash Santos). Cassie and Cameron wind up being siblings, but instead of acknowledging their past Avery and Logan pretend they’ve only just met. And what could go wrong?
The answer: a few things, but not enough to make for a compelling rom-com. In another version of this movie, there are far more hilarious hijinks than ensue in Our Little Secret. Avery is up against Cameron’s overbearing mother Erica (Kristin Chenoweth, also fulfilling her Netflix contract) and her tiny, annoying dog. This leads to a few conflicts, including Avery accidentally dosing herself with pot gummies before a church service, but these scenes are as lifeless as the plastic baby Jesus in the church’s manger. Later, while stoned, Avery eats a pile of chocolate cookies Erica was saving and blames it on the dog, who has to be rushed to the vet despite being totally fine. The result is more stressful than silly, even if Lohan and Chenoweth gamely play along.
There’s a subplot about family friend Stan (Tim Meadows) needing help with a development project, so Logan spends a lot of the movie working on a proposal at the kitchen counter. He and Avery bond over the proposal, not really the stuff of great romance or holiday fun, and those scenes drag along without much spirit. There is another subplot involving Erica’s husband Leonard (Dan Bucatinsky) and Stan’s wife Margaret (Judy Reyes) that is irrelevant to the story, but seems shoehorned in to broaden the cast. As does the inclusion of Henry Czerny as Avery’s dad in a few scenes. The screenplay, from Hailey DeDominicis, lacks the vibrancy you expect from a light-hearted holiday movie. Sure, there are a few genuine emotional moments and Lohan aptly gives Avery as much dimension as possible, but there’s only so much she and Chenoweth can do to liven things up.
At the core of the film, there’s a sweetness to the relationship between Avery and Logan, augmented by director Stephen Herek’s smart choice to bookend with animated exposition. You’re rooting for the couple from the get-go and Harding, best known for Pretty Little Liars, is a solid romantic leading man. He supports Avery through her accidental high, but the film would have benefited from more of their history. It’s a strange narrative choice to assume that anyone would care if they admitted they were once partners. Making that the big secret depletes the story of tension, especially since other characters are keeping actual, somewhat revelatory secrets. Next Christmas, Lohan should push for something like Hot Frosty, which acknowledges its silliness without sacrificing the warm-hearted, connective feelings of the holidays.
