DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend is getting frustrated because I won’t allow penetrative sex until I’ve climaxed through foreplay.
But without this routine, I never orgasm.
He gets cross about it but that’s the way I’m made.
Foreplay means everything to me and sex comes second. I’ve been with my boyfriend for seven months and he’s getting used to it, but he’d like me to orgasm when we are actually having sex.
He’s 28 and I’m 26 and we met online.
I’ve had two serious relationships before him and having sex this way always works for me.
I’ve tried to have sex on one-night stands but it’s always been rubbish for me. It hurts me and I’m just not ready. I worry he may be getting bored with our sex life.
I love him and I don’t want to lose him over this. How can I improve things for us both?
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sorry if I disappoint you but what you describe is normal.
Most women need good foreplay to become aroused and not many are lucky enough to orgasm during intercourse unless there is extra stimulation to the clitoris which is outside of the vagina.
You need to be relaxed and aroused before you have sex and this is why sex can be improved in long-term relationships because partners can find out more about you and how you like to be touched.
The key is not to have intercourse until you are both ready. You don’t need to climax first but my support pack called Women And Orgasm explains how to achieve the best results.
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