It is a strange phenomenon - common in Hollywood - when the thing that brings you the most opportunities simultaneously rips you to shreds.
Keira Knightley knows this all too well.
After suffering through the perils of young stardom compounded by the pressures of being in a franchise as popular as "Pirates of the Caribbean," the English actress, months away from turning 40, is reflecting on how she handled it all.
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"It’s a funny thing when you have something that was making and breaking you at the same time," Knightley told The Times of the "Pirates" franchise. "I was seen as s--- because of them, and yet, because they did so well, I was given the opportunity to do the films that I ended up getting Oscar nominations for."
In 2005, Knightley, who was 20 at the time, received her first Oscar nomination for Best Actress. She was nominated for her role of Elizabeth Bennet in "Pride and Prejudice." She was also nominated for Best Supporting Actress in 2014 for her portrayal of Joan Clarke in "The Imitation Game."
"They were the most successful films I’ll ever be a part of, and they were the reason that I was taken down publicly," she continued of the "Pirates of the Caribbean" series, which also starred Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom. "So they’re a very confused place in my head."
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As a result, Knightley said she would not work on a franchised project again. "The hours are insane. It’s years of your life, you have no control over where you’re filming, how long you’re filming, what you’re filming."
In conjunction with her film success, there was constant criticism of her appearance and overall persona. Sought after by paparazzi since she was a teenager – she began acting as a child and was only 17 when she began starring in the "Pirates of the Caribbean" films – Knightley shared in 2018 that when she was 22, she suffered a mental breakdown and had been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.
"In that classic trauma way I don’t remember it," she admitted of that time. "There’s been a complete delete, and then some things will come up, and I’ll suddenly have a very bodily memory of it because, ultimately, it’s public shaming, isn’t it? It’s obviously part of my psyche, given how young I was when it happened. I’ve been made around it."
Knightley was particularly scrutinized about her weight, accused of battling an eating disorder.
"I knew I wasn’t. I knew I was eating," she said of the rumors. At the time, other young starlets were dealing with similar, but also, distinctly different circumstances. "I remember viscerally one of the Olsen twins had anorexia, and she went into a clinic," Knightley said, referencing Mary-Kate Olsen, who received treatment shortly after graduating from high school in 2004.
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"I remember being asked about it on a press tour, like it was a joke. She was meant to be shamed for seeking help for anorexia. I remember sitting there just being like, ‘Wow, this is wild.’ Can you imagine?…That made me really emotional. That’s not even about me, it’s about her. I still can’t bear it."
She also was acutely aware of what the media wanted from her: a collapse.
"I 100% recognized and saw people’s careers being shattered because they were photographed coming out of clubs. The money on my head at that point, if you’d got a picture of me drunk, was so huge," she remembered. "I wasn’t going to give the [paparazzi] the satisfaction of taking that away, so I was unbelievably straight."
Now, as a married mother to two young girls, Knightley feels as though she has much more control over her own narrative.
"I keep being offered things about children dying or about mothers dying. Can’t do it," she shared. "I’ve been really surprised in the past few years about what I’ve said no to. I’ve wanted it to be more pure entertainment and maybe that’s because I’ve needed that."
