A woman who found dating in Edinburgh difficult now mixes up her love life in romantic European cities while working remotely thanks to a home-swapping website.
Kirst Irvine, 40, originally from Newcastle, likened the Scottish capital to a “village” with a scarce dating pool where she would often need to “cross-check” with her other single friends to ensure they would not end up going out with each other’s former flames.
After discovering HomeExchange, a website facilitating home-swapping overseas, Kirst took the plunge and soon began spending up to a month in various European cities to work abroad and dip a toe into a different dating scene.
In a lifestyle that resembles the plot of iconic Christmas movie The Holiday, she uses dating apps Bumble and Hinge to connect with local suitors, enjoying romantic Vespa rides through Paris at night, spontaneous dates drinking margaritas and charming home-cooked meals.
The senior marketing manager also had some stranger experiences, such as one man buying her dark chocolates on their first date to “use as an aphrodisiac later”, an aim he did not achieve, and another in Berlin who suggested they take their first date “native” at a popular spa.
She said: “You should try to increase the surface area for serendipity.
“I’m meeting more people, I’m expanding my community, and while I don’t want to be single at this age, I’ve found the tools to keep life varied and lively, experience living in new places and build a life I really like.
“It keeps life interesting.”
Kirst, who moved to Edinburgh from London 10 years ago, found the dating scene to be “hard work”.
She added: “Edinburgh is a small city, it’s around half a million people, so finding single men in their late 30s, early 40s – it feels like the scarcity effect.
“You see the same faces over and over again and you also have to cross-check with your other single girlfriends.
“Locals call Edinburgh a village and from a dating perspective, it can be hard work.”
“You can be out for brunch with a girlfriend and say you’re going out with a guy next week, but they’ve slept with him a couple of years ago or they’ve crossed paths – the dating pool is quite small.
“The dating apps also aren’t on your side sometimes and it feels like some people have dating app fatigue.”
Two years ago, Kirst started working as a senior marketing manager at her company, which she did not wish to name, but she praised her employer for its policy of allowing staff to “work from anywhere, any time”.
With this additional freedom, she felt a desire to explore other areas by working remotely and delving into the dating scene in new places – which led her to HomeExchange after a recommendation from a friend.
She started by swapping her two-bed, two-bath Edinburgh apartment for a similar property in London for three weeks in July 2023 before she moved on to Paris for two weeks in October 2023.
This was followed by a trip to Lisbon for two weeks in March 2024, Amsterdam for a week in July, and most recently, a month in Berlin in September.
She said: “It allows me to experience what life is like living and working in other cities because you can get under the skin a little bit.
“You just have to put yourself out there and be spontaneous – I’ve had lots of matches and it’s a great confidence boost.
“Vespas have featured quite heavily in my dating abroad – a guy I dated in Berlin for a month had a Vespa and we spent weekends hopping on and off, a coffee here, a beer there.
“I dated a guy who picked me up in his Tesla and we went for margaritas on a Thursday night, I’ve been cooked for in people’s homes, it’s been fun.
“Being British and blonde – even though it’s by no means exotic – you do stand out a bit.”
“While I’m up for fun dates, I also keep in mind my safety and ultimately I’m looking to meet someone more serious.”
While Kirst enjoys working remotely and exploring new areas, she acknowledges dating overseas is “not the perfect solution”.
She added: “Ghosting is an international phenomenon and it never gets any easier.
“I’ve had dates arranged in the diary only for the guy to delete our chat and disappear, not having the decency to cancel.
“When ghosting happens or a guy behaves badly, you have to be your own cheerleader and get back on the horse
“You have to be quite resilient, you have to be comfortable about putting yourself out there.
“Doing this has allowed me to flex my lifestyle and keep it affordable – it also supports my attitude that you just don’t know what’s around the corner.
“I’m yet to meet the one but I’m an optimist… I’m already thinking about where I might go in 2025.”
