When I found out I was pregnant with my fifth child, I was overwhelmed. I felt alone, which was made worse by the fact that the father and I had agreed to break up if I kept the child. I just didn’t know if I could handle another baby.
So, I started calling around. I’d never had an abortion before, and I wanted all the information I could get. What did the procedure actually look like? What would I experience? When would it happen, and what were the risks?
I still remember how cold it was when I walked into the Human Coalition clinic that January for a consultation. They led me to a private room, where I was able to have a one-on-one conversation about all of my options. Little did I know that Jillisa, the staff member I was connected with, would be a close friend to me throughout my pregnancy.
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We sat and talked about how I felt, what an abortion would entail and all of the other options available to me. I left feeling completely informed, finally in control, surrounded by help and nonjudgmental support. I felt at home in that clinic. I felt heard.
I knew when I left that I could keep my daughter. I knew I had allies. I had a village to reach out to when I needed support. And I knew that with their help, I could find the resources I needed to raise my preborn child.
That was my biggest need in that moment.
I didn’t need someone to perform an abortion, no questions asked and no explanations offered. I needed someone to sit down with me and explain all of my options. I needed someone to be a friend. I needed someone to tell me I was capable, and to make me feel heard.
I still keep in touch with Jillisa. If I’ve had a bad day, if I’m just in the area, if I want to have lunch, I reach out to her. You don’t expect a true friend from these types of situations. But I made one.
So, if you find yourself where I did, start by finding someone who will thoroughly and patiently explain all of your options. Know what an abortion means, and how it works. Know the risks, and the recovery time.
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Take the time to explore your other options, too. I didn’t know there were groups specifically for moms to support other moms — but Jillisa and the staff at the Human Coalition pregnancy center connected me with one. Eventually, those moms threw me a baby shower.
The fact is, I didn’t know about most of the resources they connected me to. I had more options than I realized — I just had to ask for help.
And I also discovered that, when I was first considering an abortion, it wasn’t what I ultimately wanted. Rather, I just didn’t want to feel alone. I wanted to feel I had support that could help me look forward to welcoming a baby. This pregnancy center provided me with that support.
If another mother draws anything from my story, I’d hope it would be comfort. I hope that my children and my life and all the fear and sadness that has come with it at times is most importantly a reminder to other women that they are never alone.
You deserve protection, support and a network of relationships that will uplift you through every season of your life. But you don’t just deserve it — you can receive it. It can become real for you.
You just have to ask.
