Barbara Crawford
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Victoria Goyet. It has been edited for length and clarity.
In August 2024, at 75, I attended a six-day summer camp for women in South West France. Although I was hesitant about going the week before I left, the experience was life-changing.
Travel was a key aspect of my life long before I attended Camp Chateau. I'm originally from Witchita, Kansas, and went abroad for the first time after college on a trip to England, but my first love is Italy. I did some postgraduate work there and loved the art. I also loved spending time in France and enjoyed the art and food.
After college, when I was in my 20s, I worked at a retail travel agency. Early in my career, I discovered the women who took trips with me either had husbands who didn't want to travel or were divorced, widowed, or single. I thought it would be a good idea to create something that allowed women to feel safe traveling in small groups to interesting places. About nine years into working in the industry, I started my own travel company, Endless Beginnings.
Over time, clients would ask to bring their husbands, so the trips stopped being restricted to women. Given my age, I mostly organize trips for others based on my specialties: arts, food, wine, private gardens, and villas.
In the fall of 2023, I came across a women's camp in France called Camp Chateau that looked interesting, and decided to go.
There were 50 women attending, ranging in age from their 20s to my age. I was in a room with three other women in their 40s, around my daughter's age. We were told not to overpack because the Chateau has a lot of steps and a circular staircase, and we would have to carry our luggage up. I remember thinking, "Oh boy, I don't do steps that well."
I asked if I could have something on a lower floor and got the ground-floor room. I had a single bed, and the room itself wasn't huge, but the bathroom was incredible. It was enormous with a tub, separate shower, and beautiful tile. My roommates and I laughed and said we could have thrown a huge party in our bathroom.
The first night focused on setting ground rules within your shared room or bunk area. We all went back to our room and laughed because we realized we didn't really need any rules. Everyone was very polite. The only guideline we set was that if the bathroom door was shut, that meant don't go in. Other than that, we could come and go as we pleased.
During the day, there were many activities to choose from. There was kayaking, horseback riding, hiking, cooking, French, art, and wellness activities like massages and early morning yoga classes.
One of my favorite events was an activity called "Spill the Tea." We wrote down something we were grappling with. Our paper was put into a box by a camp staff member who would pull it out and open the floor up for discussion. Someone was worried about leaving her support system for a job offer that would require relocation. I shared that I had to relocate so my terminally ill husband could be close to family. I told her, "You survive, you make new friends, and life goes on." I loved how deep the event dug and how willing everyone was to share.
On the last day of camp, I attended a meditative journaling class. We met in the woods and sat at a table under the trees. I felt funny because everyone brought their journals, and I just came with a piece of paper and a pen. I had never journaled and didn't even know where to start. The woman leading the activity suggested topics, such as what you were grateful for or how you felt in the moment.
I kept thinking, "Sometimes life gets in the way," so I started with that idea. I wrote that when you've lived as long as I have, you realize you start life with a plan to do certain things. But as life progresses, you put various things aside, perhaps for the sake of starting a family or getting married. Then, one day, you realize you put your own plans aside to do things for others.
When I returned and told a friend about my experience, I said attending camp made me stop, re-center, and think about my life and what I want to do. I don't know how many years I have left, but I'm closer to the end than the beginning. Camp made it clear to me that it's important I start making time for things I want to do. I'm trying to restructure my work schedule, so I'm not always working so hard. I want to free up time to do more things that are important to me, whether that's picking up a paintbrush or writing again.
