The talking stage is a time to assess whether someone is worth going for (or better off letting go). It’s definitely a period with a lot of gray areas and confusion, which is why knowing the warning signs someone may not be a good fit for you is important.
Here are talking stage red flags you should definitely not ignore.
If you met on a dating app, someone worth talking to should not act too familiar with you too quickly. You’re technically a stranger, a person they didn’t know even existed until they decided to swipe right on you three days prior.
If they’re making tons of inappropriate comments, oversharing, or generally pushing emotional intimacy, these are all red flags. Someone who truly wants to get to know you and wants something serious understands familiarity is something you absolutely cannot rush.
Along the same lines as being too comfortable too quickly, if they treat you like a therapist and/or an emotional dumping ground for all of their problems, keep your guard up. When you are first talking with someone, you want to connect over similar interests and values, not over issues.
How someone looks at their past relationships, and how they discuss those past relationships, will be very telling of their emotional maturity and whether or not they’ve actually moved on from a former partner.
If they’re constantly bashing an ex, calling them “crazy,” and taking no accountability for their role in a breakup, this may mean they haven’t fully processed the breakup and might not be emotionally available to start something with you.
Just no. This is incredibly disrespectful and shows they are self-involved. If they essentially talk at you instead of to you, ask you nothing about your own life, and just expect you to be totally enamored about how interesting they think they are, yawn. Move on. Next.
If you’re regularly talking to someone and they go MIA without explanation and then pop back up as if nothing happened, chances are they’re not really looking for anything serious. If this is cool with you, great, but if you’re wanting to find a solid relationship, find someone who actually communicates where they’re at emotionally.
If something feels “off” to you, it probably is. If someone is making you uncomfortable, even if you can’t put your finger on it, listen to your gut. Your instincts exist for a reason. Don’t discredit your judgment.
