A PHILOSOPHER has revealed the one question to ask your children to find out if you’ve done a good job parenting them.
Alain de Botton is a famous author best known for his books Essays In Love and The Architecture of Happiness.
Now, he’s sat down with the 20VC podcast host Harry Stebbings to discuss parenting.
In the video Alain revealed you can find out how well you’ve done to bring up confident self-assured children by asking one question – whether they want to be famous.
He said: “A marker of good parenting is that your child doesn’t have any wish to be famous.”
The philosopher went on to explain that this is because they have enough internal validation that they won’t seek it out externally.
He continued: “They are not seeking to be known by strangers.
“They can be content to be known by a small circle of people that they actually know back.
“So it’s two-ways rather than a broadcast system.”
Alain explained people seek out fame for status which they hope will earn them respect and love.
However, as we know, fame can often do the exact opposite.
“What they find instead is envy, insecurity and backlash,” Alain added.
The clip went viral on the TikTok account @20vc_tok with over 2.5 million views and 291k likes.
People were quick to take to the comments and many were divided by Alain’s explonation.
One person wrote: “Damn. Just clockeddd all of us.”
Another commented: “Internal validation is golden.”
“I think it’s pretty normal for children to wish to be famous,” penned a third.
Here are some widely recognised methods:
Authoritative Parenting
This technique will often foster independence, self-discipline, and high self-esteem in children.
It is often considered the most effective, this technique is where parents set clear expectations – enforcing rules – whilst also showing warmth and support.
Authoritarian Parenting
This is opposite to authoritative parenting, as it is where the parent sets high demands but is low on responsiveness.
It involves ensuring the child is obedient and often employ punitive measures. While this can lead to disciplined behaviour, it may also result in lower self-esteem and social skills in children.
Permissive Parenting
Permissive parents tend to be indulgent and lenient, often taking on a role more akin to a friend than an authority figure. They are highly responsive but lack demandingness, granting children a lot of freedom. This method can nurture creativity and a free-spirited nature but may also result in poor self-regulation and difficulties with authority.
Uninvolved Parenting
Uninvolved or neglectful parenting is marked by low responsiveness and low demands. Parents in this category offer minimal guidance, nurturing, or attention. This often leaves children feeling neglected, which can have significant negative effects on their emotional and social development.
Helicopter Parenting
Helicopter parents are extremely involved and overprotective, frequently micromanaging their children’s lives. Although their goal is to protect and support, this approach can hinder a child’s ability to develop independence and problem-solving skills.
Free-Range Parenting
Free-range parenting encourages children to explore and learn from their surroundings with minimal parental interference. This method promotes independence and resilience but requires a safe and supportive environment to be successful.
Attachment Parenting
According to Marriage.com, Attachment parenting focuses on physical closeness and emotional bonding, often through practices such as co-sleeping and baby-wearing. This approach aims to create secure attachments and emotional well-being, but demands significant time and emotional commitment from parents.
Each of these parenting techniques has its own set of strengths and weaknesses. The key is to find a balanced approach that aligns with the family’s values and meets the child’s needs for a healthy, happy upbringing.
Meanwhile a fourth said: “That explains a lot.”
“I have no wish to be famous but it’s not because my parents were good at parenting lol,” claimed a fifth.
Someone else added: “I don’t want to be famous but I want famous money.”
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