WHOEVER wrote the advertising blurb promoting the Mike Tyson-Jake Paul boxing buffoonery that’s taking place in Texas on Friday would make George Washington blush with shame.
The description of this ridiculous, universally condemned freak show between 58-year-old Tyson and novice YouTuber Paul, is a masterpiece of deception.
It thunders: “One of the most highly anticipated fights in boxing history.
“It’s legendary power against relentless ambition promising an unforgettable clash in the ring.”
Has there ever been anything more derisory or misleading? Because this isn’t a fight – IT’S A FARCE!
It must be appalling to the good folk who run the Age Concern charity that looks after the welfare of the elderly.
Because Tyson – one of the all-time great world heavyweight champions – is not only being allowed to climb through the ropes at his time of life after 19 years in retirement but encouraged to combat a man 31 years younger.
At least he is only being asked to box eight two-minute rounds and he’ll be wearing 14oz gloves instead of the usual 10oz – as if that is going to lessen the danger to Tyson’s health.
We keep hearing what incredible shape Mike’s in considering he’s well passed middle age – yet four months ago he was said to be seriously ill suffering from a bleeding stomach ulcer which he admitted caused him to vomit blood.
This sorry spectacle has been approved by the Texas Department of Licensing and Regulations.
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Only in America would this kind of punching parody be sanctioned – it certainly wouldn’t be tolerated here.
Stranger things have happened across the pond and it reminds me of the Aaron Pryor horror story.
Pryor was found to be blind in his left eye after losing his world junior welterweight title in 1988.
Eighteen months later he decided to make a comeback – understandably he found great difficulty in getting licenced to fight in most cities in the States.
Eventually, he applied to the licensing authorities in Madison, Wisconsin and it was granted.
Marlene Cummings – who made the decision – in her infinite wisdom said solemnly: “Handicapped people should not be penalised for their handicap.”
You couldn’t make it up.
JAKE PAUL VS MIKE TYSON: ALL THE DETAILS YOU NEED AHEAD OF HUGE BOUT
Pryor went ahead with the fight and KO’d his opponent in the third.
If the Texan authorities had done the sensible thing and refused to give their blessing to this unjustifiable Tyson-Paul spectacle no doubt another State would have been found willing to cash in and stage it.
At least 60,000 are expected in the 80,000-capacity AT&T stadium to see Tyson and Paul square off – probably most of them the kind of people who slow down on motorways to ogle at a car crash.
It’s being shown worldwide on Netflix which has 200 million subscribers – which is why Tyson and Paul are each supposed to be getting anything between £20-£30million.
Hand on heart, who who can blame the one-time Baddest Man on the Planet for grabbing such a massive fortune for a maximum of 16 minutes work?
Obviously Mike believes it’s worth gambling on not getting seriously hurt.
JAKE PAUL VS MIKE TYSON: ALL THE DETAILS YOU NEED AHEAD OF HUGE BOUT
Having covered 30 of Tyson’s 58 fights over a period of 17 years – including every one of his 16 world championship battles – I spent many hours with him talking about his troubled life inside and outside the ring.
Always a tormented soul, it was in the cards he would grow old disgracefully – but he always professed his undying love for boxing and respected its history and traditions.
That’s why I find it so dispiriting Mike has allowed himself to get involved in something he would have regarded in his prime as degrading – but we all know money always talks loudest.
The Tyson I want to remember was the terrifying fighting machine who sent shivers of fear up and down the spine of his opponents – and many in the press seats as well – before he ruthlessly blasted them insensible with the dynamite he carried in both fists.
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I’m so glad I’m going to be nearly 5000 miles from Arlington and won’t have to watch the charade that is going to be enacted in cowboy country.
What two long-dead American authors had to say many moons ago perfectly sums up what the majority feel and brings home what the unedifying Tyson-Paul match-up is really all about.
Charles Bukowski pointed out: “Bad taste creates many more millionaires than good taste.”
And H. L. Mencken wrote: “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.”
If there is a ring walk Iron Mike Tyson should come in to Any Old Iron – an old Cockney music hall song the rag-and-bone men used to sing as they toured the East London streets when I was a kid.
They were collecting damaged goods.
