It’s Election Day, and if you’re anything like me, you’re wishing you had taken the day off so you could retreat to an off-the-grid cabin for 24 to 72 hours. Not everyone is racked with anxiety, though. For some people, now is actually the perfect time to write a lengthy Instagram caption commemorating their 43rd birthday. In this instance, that “some person” is none other than Ivanka Trump.
Never mind the fact that her father is currently in a dead heat to win one of the most important political offices in the world; she’s already made it clear she doesn’t care about that anymore. No, instead Ivanka spent yesterday focused on sharing the various “truths” she’s learned over the past four decades. Alongside the way-too-long caption, she posted a carousel of photos of herself in various situations that include business, family, and standing in front of a piece of art that reads, “Feelings are much like waves, we can’t stop them from coming but we can choose which one to surf.” So true.
Throughout the caption, Ivanka reveals herself to be a fan of BrainyQuote.com, sharing aphorisms from Esther Perel, Naval Ravikant, Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, Dolly Parton, Henry David Thoreau, and Carl Jung. While it’s funny to imagine that Ivanka has removed herself from the spotlight in order to hole up in Miami reading Walden, that’s not what’s happening here. If it were, she would know that the Thoreau quote is not “The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it,” but rather, “The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.” Not that that matters to her, or to what I think is the point of this long-ass caption.
Ivanka seems to be using her birthday to embark on a pivot into the “apolitical” life-coaching space. This is not usually what her Instagram content is like, and it looks like she may have been testing the waters last week when she posted seven paragraphs about the benefits of weight lifting. She’s been very intentional about distancing herself from her father in recent years, which frees her up to be Jay Shetty for people who think Jay Shetty is friends with too many liberal elites. This could be an incredible grift for her.
While you are spending the day getting retinal damage from too much screen time, Ivanka is busy kicking her stilettos up onto a conference table covered in floor plans (?) and envisioning her future. No matter who wins, she has already started grinding. Unfortunately for all of us, that means there’s probably a podcast on the way.
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