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This as-told-to essay is based on a transcribed conversation with Heather Doran, a 43-year-old in Mississippi, about "quiet quitting" at work. Business Insider verified her employment history with documentation. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
I was raised by a single father. He was the first in our family to go to college.
When I was growing up, my dad told me I should go to college and get a good job.
At 18, I became a mom and took a two-year break from studying. I went on to get a bachelor's and graduate degree in business management and accounting, which I completed at age 32.
I simultaneously had several lower-level accounting jobs, such as bookkeeping.
I then secured a higher-paying job as a senior accountant. It felt like a point of arrival. I was making a decent starting salary of $48,000. I had married someone who worked in the military. We lived in South Carolina, and our family had a middle-class income.
But over time, I became a "quiet quitter." I stopped going above and beyond at work because I realized my job wasn't fuelling my happiness. Setting boundaries gave me the time I needed to figure out what made me happy.
I stayed in my senior accountant role for roughly four years, but after a while, I realized my reality wasn't what I had imagined.
I thought climbing the corporate ladder would give me enough money for an expensive car and house and reduce my stress about money.
But a year or two into the role, after consistently working long hours, I got a $5,000 raise. I was grateful, but I also felt it wasn't enough to impact my life in the long run.
We're told to go to college, get a good job, and a good salary. We'll be happier because we can afford a nicer life. But I realized it's a lie, particularly as life has become so unaffordable.
I noticed people around me had lives that revolved around going to work and then coming home. They didn't seem happy. My life looked pretty similar. After coming home from work, I was often too tired to make dinner, and I wasn't seeing my family that much.
My mental health was suffering. Externally, everything looked great. My needs were being met, I had money in the bank. I didn't have a "reason" to feel like something was wrong, so I wanted to work out what I could do to fuel my happiness.
Roughly three years into the role, I started "quiet quitting." I set boundaries, which partly involved starting to work only my required hours, making sure I'd left by 5 p.m. instead of staying until 6 or 6:30 p.m. like I used to.
I wasn't doing it because I was mad at my company but because leaving work when it was dark and barely seeing my family made me unhappy. I started telling colleagues that I'd leave at a designated time and stopped answering my phone after hours.
I stopped getting involved in projects others were leading and offering to set up extra meetings with staff to review problems. I stopped speaking as much in meetings and pushed back on meetings that weren't relevant to my role. I also pushed back on any work outside my remit by directing people to other departments.
I'm sure people noticed, but I became so withdrawn that I didn't pay attention.
My career wasn't fuelling my happiness. If work and money weren't making me feel better, I wanted to find out what would.
By 2018, I had moved to a new job because my old company had been acquired, and my role had been eliminated.
From the time I started my new role, I established boundaries, focused on my specific role, and stopped trying to solve other departments' problems.
The 2020 COVID-19 pandemic gave me even more space to explore happiness. My 40-minute rush-hour drive home was a constant frustration, but working remotely made me feel better. I started asking myself what I enjoyed doing, and investing in these things, like driving to get ice cream or reading something on the internet.
I listened to my intuition more. This made me wonder if my husband, who was retiring from the military, and I should leave South Carolina.
In 2021, we sold our house and traveled in a camper van for several months while I continued working remotely at my job. In 2022, we bought a house in the Mississippi countryside. I've had some of the most peaceful times in my life here because we're more isolated.
I started a bookkeeping business on the side of my job, helping others with their tax returns and finances. Setting boundaries at work gave me more time to build my business. My boss appreciates my work and my ability to set boundaries.
"Quiet quitting" was the right thing for me. It helped me spend less time on things that weren't my responsibility in the workplace, and more time improving my mental health and allowing me to think about what I wanted my life to look like.
Our work culture makes us feel like we need to always one-up our colleagues and keep going above and beyond, even to the detriment of our mental health. But "quiet quitting" is about going back to just doing the job we were hired to do, which isn't lazy.
I'd also encourage employees to slow down and listen to their inner voice. Ask yourself, "What is your version of waking up feeling happy?"
How can you make little steps toward that?
Do you have a "quiet quitting" story you want to share with Business Insider? Email ccheong@businessinsider.com
