DEAR DEIDRE My girlfriend keeps our relationship secret, as I am black and she is white.
We met almost a year ago through Instagram and got on well. We have the most amazing sex. She has two teenage daughters and I am a single dad with a little boy. She is 41 and I am 43.
We live quite close to one another but, when we meet, we drive for miles because she won’t go out with me locally.
I really want to tell our friends and family we are together, but she won’t even entertain the idea.
If I show an interest in her life, she just snaps at me and asks me why I keep asking her so many questions.
I know she told her eldest daughter about me.
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Now her daughter is ashamed of her mum and told her that her dad, my girlfriend’s ex, wouldn’t like her going out with a black guy.
I can’t help but think that I am always going to be her guilty secret.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It is possible that she is keeping you secret because of her family’s racist attitudes. She may fear she’d be ostracised should she tell them about you.
Tell her that the two of you need to talk about the future. You can’t stay a secret for ever or live without plans.
Don’t be fobbed off. Say you want to know where your relationship is going.
Either way, you are justified in being concerned about her secrecy. If she really cares about you, she will understand.
