When I discovered my husband was on sex sites, you helped us work it out

DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I discovered my husband had joined sex sites to look at naked women, he blamed me, saying it was because I didn’t give him enough attention.

He claimed he hadn’t met up with anyone for sex, but I didn’t believe him.

I’m 45 and he’s 48. 

I was so angry and hurt by his actions – and his denial – that I wrote for advice.

All the trust had gone, and I couldn’t see a way forward. But I didn’t want to end an 18-year marriage.

You were so helpful, making me ask myself difficult questions about my feelings for my husband and our marriage.

You suggested relationship counselling – both alone and together – and gave me some of your support packs, like Looking After Your Relationship.

Then you wrote back to see how I was and we had several conversations, in which you gave me more food for thought.

I realised we hadn’t been communicating properly about our stresses, instead retreating into our own shells.

My husband has now agreed to see a counsellor together, and we’re working on our marriage.

Thank you, Deidre, for giving me so much comfort and advice.

DEIDRE SAYS: I hope with counselling you can find a way to forgive him and repair your marriage.