How the Commanders’ Hail Mary win might have decided the 2024 presidential election

Here’s how this theory works.

When the Commanders won with a Hail Mary on Sunday it might have had bigger ramifications than moving to 6-2 on the season — it also could have decided the United States Presidential Election.

Perhaps you heard of what used to be called “The Redskins Rule,” after the team’s now-defunct racist nickname. It held that since the team relocated from Boston to Washington DC in 1937 the result of the election would always been determined by the final home game before the election.

If Washington won their final home game the incumbent party would win, and if they lost there would be a changing of the guard in the White House. For almost 60 years the rule held to be true.

• 1940: Washington wins, Roosevelt holds White House
• 1944: Washington wins, Roosevelt holds White House
• 1948: Washington wins, Truman holds White House
• 1952: Washington loses, Eisenhower takes White House
• 1956: Washington wins, Eisenhower holds White House
• 1960: Washington loses, Kennedy takes White House
• 1964: Washington wins, Johnson holds White House
• 1968: Washington loses, Nixon takes White House
• 1972: Washington wins, Nixon holds White House
• 1976: Washington loses, Carter takes White House
• 1980: Washington loses, Reagan takes White House
• 1984: Washington wins, Regan holds White House
• 1988: Washington wins, Bush holds White House
• 1992: Washington loses, Clinton takes White House
• 1996: Washington wins, Clinton holds White House

It’s here that the rule started going off the rails. George W. Bush beat Al Gore in 2000, but Gore won the popular vote — something that hadn’t factored into the election before. Then in 2004 the rule failed, when Bush held onto the White House after a Washington win.

Something called “Redskins Rule 2.0” came into existence to justify how the popular vote factored in vs. the electoral college, and it got stupid and complicated. The rule was accurate in 2008, failed in 2012 and 2016. Seemingly the entire concept was dead for good ... or is it? There is a factor nobody really considered here:

So we have a tradition here that’s held from 1940 until 1996, then it goes off the rails. Is this the fault of the rule itself, or the man in charge of the team? Dan Snyder purchased the team in 1999, ushering in the sorriest, most-pathetic era of football in the history of the franchise.

I posit that instead of the rule being broken the organization was broken by Snyder, which caused all facets of the operation to collapse — including superstition. Then Snyder sells the team in 2023, the Commanders immediately start winning like they haven’t in decades, and balance is restored to the force.

This means that the “Commanders Rule” holds again. Therefore, with the Hail Mary win over the Bears at home it dictates that the incumbent party will hold the White House on election day, which means:

Kamala Harris will be the next President of the United States

If that makes you happy, congrats. If you’re mad, don’t shoot the messenger.