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There I was, with an 8-day-old baby, barely showered, exhausted from the lack of sleep, navigating a world completely new to me in which I was responsible for keeping this brand-new, tiny baby alive when my mother looked at me and jokingly asked, "Ready for another one?"
Fully expecting me to scoff and say no, she was totally taken off guard when I looked at her and replied, "I'd have 10 if I could afford them."
From the time I turned 5 years old, the only thing I knew I wanted to be when I grew up was a mom, and I always wanted a big family. When I met my husband and we started talking about our future, we both wanted to have as many kids as we could. We have six now.
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In a time when having a large family is not popular anymore, taking my kids out in public seems to be quite the spectacle for the people we encounter. I love having a massive family, especially having grown up with just one sibling.
Going out in public — every time, without fail — means someone makes a rude comment about the size of my family. Sometimes, it's passive-aggressive ("Wow, you're brave" or "Gosh, you have your hands full"), and sometimes, it's just plain aggressive ("Why would you want to have all those kids?" or "Are they really all yours?").
My husband and I work in public service jobs. We're not rolling in money, as some people think must be the case if we're going to raise six children. We decided money can't be taken with us, and we'd rather enjoy the experience of our large, full family.
Even more surprising to most people is the fact that we actually find having six kids strangely easy. This is partially because our children are spaced out in age and partially because we learned early on to juggle the chaos.
The transition from one to two children is tough, three has you outnumbered, but by four and up, you've learned what we call "zone defense" and have planning and prioritizing down to an art.
I often tell other moms who ask me how I do it all that having a big family is an excellent lesson in grace. I learned to prioritize what really matters and not stress out about the things that don't. There will always be laundry to do, toys to put away, and dishes to wash, but the time while my kids are young is rapidly disappearing, so I've learned to do what I can while maximizing my time with them as much as possible.
Our kids, aged 18, 11, 6, 4, almost 2, and 4 months old, are each other's built-in best friends. Many nights, you'll find our middle three kids running throughout the house, playing hide and seek under the dining room table or behind the hampers in the laundry room. Or, you will find our 11-year-old texting our 18-year-old, asking if they can hang out after their younger siblings have gone to bed to talk, watch TV together, and catch up on each other's lives.
Do our kids fight and argue? Absolutely. They are just like everyone else's kids. But, they also value the relationships they have with each other because of the importance we place on family. They have each other's backs and are each other's biggest cheerleaders. Having a big family doesn't just mean more work; it also means more people to share in life's adventures.
Ultimately, our house is filled with laughter, "I love yous," and yes, a bit of chaos. Sneak a peek through our front door, and you'd likely hear the squealing, laughter, and makeshift living room wrestling arena long before you see it, but it has become the rhythm of our lives, and we wouldn't have it any other way.
