Courtesy of Ashley Archambault
My son is still young enough for me to save up quite a bit of money for his college tuition. My husband and I are both teachers and while we are anything but well-off, we make enough for what we need. The savings I was putting away for my son each month was all the money left after the bills were paid.
Each year, I planned to save about $10,000 for his college tuition. By the time my son graduates from high school, I would have saved about $100,000, which would cover a large portion of a four-year degree — depending on where he chooses to go.
However, my son is currently in the fifth grade and has little interest in his education. For now, I've decided to stop saving for his tuition and instead invest in my future.
As a mother, I have sacrificed a lot to be available to my son, and I don't regret those sacrifices. For instance, I chose my teaching career because of him and gave up other career paths that would have taken up almost all of my time. I want to be present for my son while he's growing up, and I think he appreciates that.
But I have recently started thinking about what I want out of my own life once he's older. I know for sure that I'll want to live somewhere else, so I've made the difficult decision to start putting those savings toward the forever home I've always dreamed about.
Our current home is not somewhere I'll live forever. The town we live in is just where we ended up; I don't love living here. Since my son's father is close by, I don't want to relocate just yet. Once my son graduates high school, I want to buy that forever home in Gainesville, where I dream of living, so I need to start saving now.
I do feel a little guilty about not thinking of that money as my son's college savings anymore, but I could always change my mind about paying for his college if he gets serious about his education.
My husband pointed out that while I worked hard for a scholarship to pay for my schooling, he had to take out student loans. His point is that if my son decides that he really wants to go to college, he could do either of these things — just as we had to.
We each wanted degrees and didn't have parents who could pay for our tuition, so we found a way to pay for college on our own, as lots of people have to do.
When I had my son, I wanted to give him everything I did not have growing up. Initially, that included helping him pay for college. But the college landscape has changed. It is more expensive than ever, and a degree is no longer a guarantee for a successful life.
Vocational work is now a viable path that many high school graduates are taking instead of heading to college, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. What I want more than my son to go to college is for him to find work that he'll really enjoy doing.
I would be more than happy to help him pay for trade school or vocational training if that is something he really wants to do. We are lucky enough to have high schools in our area that provide training for all of those career paths. Some high school programs even allow students to graduate with certificates at no cost to families.
While I can't predict our future, I do feel like I'm making the right decision to begin investing in my own future. I feel better about working hard to save up for my forever home in a town I know I'll be happier in instead of saving up for costly college tuition that may not lead anywhere.
I'm tired of giving up on my own dreams. While I'm happy to make sacrifices as a parent that I know are worth it, I don't think sacrificing that opportunity to move and make a better life for myself is worth it.
I even think that when he is grown up, that's something he'll want for me, too.
