My wife fell asleep during sex and says she has no interest in being intimate
DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife says sex is “a dirty business” and so we are rarely intimate these days.
She seems to have completely gone off it.
I am 45 and my wife is 43. We have been married for 12 years and have a son who is now ten.
We kiss and cuddle but that is all. Even when we do have sex, the minimum amount of time is spent on foreplay.
I love my wife but I can’t continue to be in a marriage without regular loving sex.
The last time we made love she fell asleep in the process. I couldn’t believe it.
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Yet she makes comments about the bodies of men on TV.
I am at an all-time low.
I have told her that she makes me feel worthless and unloved but it seems to go in one ear and out the other.
I just can’t understand what has happened to make her like this.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: There is something not right.
Pick a moment when you are both feeling close and relaxed, and tell her how much you are missing being intimate with her in bed.
Say you love her and want to better understand what has gone wrong for her.
Offer to work together to sort it out without apportioning blame.
Bad experiences with sex in the past, or early messages she received that having sex is wrong, could be the reason.
Or it could be the sex hadn’t been that great for her.
My support pack Has She Gone Off Sex? will help.