Courtesy of the author
Vacation days are sacred. Since I'm married with two children, it might be easy to assume that I spend all of my time off with them, but I've found that I spend almost as much time off on trips with my girlfriends. That's not to say that I don't love time with my husband and kids, but I would never see my best friends if I didn't make an effort to see them.
I lived abroad for four years in my late 20s and met some of my closest friends during that time. We've all scattered mostly across the US now and don't get to see each other on a regular basis. I really wish I could just pop over to watch TV one night or meet up for a glass of wine, but if I want to see them at all, it means traveling to do so. While we've got an insanely active text thread and video call each other, it just doesn't measure up to seeing each other in person.
In the past 12 months, I've used my time off to meet up with friends four times, which is about as many times as I've used it to spend time with my family.
My husband realizes how important it is for me to spend time with my best friends and is supportive of how I use vacation time. We've agreed that it's a great way for me to illustrate what true friendships look like for our two girls. It's also healthy to get a solo break, and it makes me a better parent.
My daughters have only met my best friends in person once or twice, but they know who they are and know how important they are to me. We FaceTime my friends and send silly video messages often. When I get ready to go on a trip, they get excited. They love to call during the trips to talk to all of my friends and to see pictures when I get back.
I want them to realize that investing time in good friendships is important and worthwhile, and I hope that they'll do the same as they grow up. I hope I'm showing them that it takes effort to maintain and nurture relationships and that friendships are a crucial part of life.
I love vacation time with just my family. It's great to step away from work and to get dedicated time together. But my girls are both still young and require a lot of support. A vacation with them is just parenting in a different location right now, and that doesn't end up feeling like any sort of break for me. Parenting is stressful, and never getting time away from your kids isn't healthy.
Some might disagree, but I don't feel guilty about taking so many trips with my girlfriends. I'm in full on mom mode the overwhelming majority of the year, so a handful of days where I don't have parenting responsibilities feels needed and justified to me.
A trip with friends is usually two to three days long, during which I can sleep past 6 a.m., sip a hot cup of coffee, and have a conversation without being interrupted. I can also plan a day (or not plan a day) without worrying about naptime and schedules.
I miss my family while I'm away, but getting time to recharge makes me eager to jump back in as a parent when I get back, and I think it makes me a better mom overall.
Seeing my friends throughout the year is important to me. It shows my girls what investing in friendship looks like. It's so good for the soul, and it also leaves me energized, recharged, and ready to tackle parenthood when I'm back.
