My son has been a complete nightmare since my wife and I split up

DEAR DEIDRE: EVER since my wife and I separated my son has been completely out of control.

Whether he’s throwing a tantrum, bullying his sister, or ignoring everything I say, he never does as he’s told.

I’ve tried everything to get through to him and don’t know how to get through to him.

I’m 42, my ex-wife is 39 and we recently decided to get a divorce after ten years of marriage. We share two kids together, a daughter who’s five and a son who’s eight.

We’d tried for years to work on our relationship but six months ago came to the conclusion that we would be better off apart.

Our separation was amicable and we did everything we could to support our kids through the transition. While our daughter seemed to adjust well, our son is constantly rude and difficult. 

Whether he’s with me or his mother, there are constant tantrums and it’s as if he’s doing everything he can to misbehave.

We can’t even take him out in public without him screaming and shouting about something.

We’ve tried everything to discipline him, from trying to speak to him calmly, giving him time outs to confiscating his iPad and TV, but nothing seems to work.

Where do we go from here?

DEIDRE SAYS: When parents separate it’s normal for young children to feel a mix of emotions from anger, confusion, frustration to sadness.

Oftentimes this can transfer into behavioural problems causing them to act out.

Knowing how to navigate this time with your son will be hard, but with some time and patience things will get better eventually. 

Try to encourage him to speak openly about how he feels and make it clear to him that you’re there to listen. 

Reassure him both you and your wife love him.

If nothing changes, consider getting him some extra support. Contact Family Live (familylives.org.uk), who can help.