Melanie Zacek Photography
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Ashley Mason, a 27-year-old business owner in Massachusetts. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
I started my marketing agency in 2016. I worked hard to build it from scratch and told myself that if I got married, I wanted to protect this asset at all costs.
I heard stories from other entrepreneurs about how they built a business, got married without a prenup, and later divorced. Some had to hand over money and partial business ownership to their ex-spouse.
I spent so much time building my business that I couldn't imagine losing some of it in a divorce. I promised myself that when I met my future partner, we'd sign a prenup before we married.
After meeting my fiancé in 2018, we talked about prenups several times before getting engaged. You hear stories of people being offended by the idea of a prenup, but my fiancé didn't care at all. He's ambitious and works for his dad's plumbing business. He was totally fine with it.
I believe contracts are essential in business and relationships. It might not sound romantic to compare love to business, but when you're about to enter a legal marriage with someone, I believe it's best to have a contract outlining worst-case scenario terms.
Before I work with a client, we sign a contract that protects us if something goes wrong. I would never do business with someone without that legal protection because it could end in a costly lawsuit. That's why it makes sense from a personal perspective, too.
I often hear people say they don't need a prenup because they don't have any assets except their cash or investment accounts. That's not the case for me. With my own money, I've purchased assets like a car and a 16-acre property.
While I'm excited to share my money and assets with my partner and plan to split our bills and expenses, I still want to protect my assets if something happens. The only way to do that legally is by having a detailed prenup.
Plus, a prenup isn't one-sided. It protects my fiancé, too, and he can add in what assets he wants to protect.
My fiancé and I got engaged in November 2022 and set a wedding date for October 2024. Seven months after getting engaged, I suggested we start the prenup process.
We first audited all our assets in and out of our bank accounts. For example, my fiancé owns a truck, snowmobiles, and Jet Skis. We listed all his items and their values. Then, we discussed how we'd split things if we broke up.
We decided what's mine is mine, and what's his is his. Anything we own jointly, like the house we own together, will be split 50-50. We didn't disagree on anything during this process.
While I chose to hire a lawyer, my fiancé decided not to hire his own. He felt that since we were on the same page, it didn't make sense for him to pay for an attorney when he was willing to sign the prenup that my lawyer and I would draft.
This is allowed in Massachusetts; however, my lawyer did share that if we were to get a divorce, the judge might rule more in his favor. I was OK with that risk.
I found a lawyer through a colleague's recommendation. Over the past year, we've had about five meetings.
There was a lot of back-and-forth because our assets changed during that time. After every meeting, I'd share with my fiancé what the lawyer and I talked about or added to the prenup draft. As of July 11th, 2024, the prenup is signed and notarized, which makes it final.
My fiancé offered to split the cost of the prenup with me, but I felt it wasn't fair for him to pay. Since I drafted the prenup more favorably, I thought it was right to take on the cost.
My prenup cost around $5,000. It might seem like a lot, but I was happy to spend a little bit of money now to potentially save in the long run.
At first, I was set on not giving any alimony, which is financial support that will allow your ex-spouse to maintain the lifestyle they had while married to you. My attorney advised me that if a judge sees that in your prenup, it can be seen as unfair to the other party.
We decided to include alimony terms in the prenup since I make around 40% more than my partner a year. My fiancé and I agreed on a tiered system based on the number of years we've been together. For example, if we've been together for five years, there wouldn't be alimony, but at 10 years, a certain percentage would be given, and so on.
There's a stigma around getting a prenup that if you get one, it's because you're superrich. That's not true, but at 27, nobody I know has a prenup. I couldn't turn to friends for advice, so I researched independently.
We're just a few weeks away from the wedding, and now that the prenup is signed, I feel like we can focus on what's next for us. Eventually we want to have kids and buy more houses together. We have a strong relationship, and we're entering marriage knowing we're on the same page now and will be in the future.
Want to share your story? Email Lauryn Haas at lhaas@businessinsider.com.
