A WOMAN has sought advice after realising her hubby had cheated on her with his ”ugly and old” co-worker.
According to a Forbes Advisor 2024 survey, 40% of people have cheated on their partner with a colleague, with a staggering 50% reporting flirting with their co-workers.
As workplace romance is on the rise, one devastated woman has taken to Reddit, unsure if her husband’s actions will put an end to their marriage.
According to the heartbroken woman, her partner – who works in the federal law enforcement – was unfaithful to her a few summers ago while away on a training mission.
The co-worker, she claimed in the post, was 40 – or ten years older than her husband, 30.
The cheating hubby said they had sex just ”once” and the wife’s suspicions started to rise when she began noticing his phone popping off with messages.
”When asked about this new friend, he said “she’s ugly and old, don’t worry about it. I’ll stop talking to her if it makes you uncomfortable”.
”He did stop speaking to her for five months until I was travelling for work.
”He must have been horny or bored, because he contacted her on his work cell where I couldn’t see, then later felt comfortable enough to contact her on his personal device… as I’m sleeping next to him.”
In the messages, she later came to learn, the co-workers ”reminisced about the amazing sex they had and how they wished they had more time together”.
To make his wife less suspicious about his unfaithful ways, the sneaky man had also allegedly saved the woman’s contact as ”Roach” to ”deter” the wife from thinking it was her.
Sharing the heart-wrenching story, the anonymous writer – also the mother of their tot – said she was the main breadwinner in their household.
”Higher on the attractive scale, high sex drive, excellent housewife, great cook, usually the wife that his friends wish they had.”
Despite the wonderful attributes and character, the woman, 29, explained she’s been through ”horrible childhood trauma” which makes her ”unattractive” to her partner.
She bravely opened up about how the traumatic events have affected her – and their relationship.
”My temper, especially when triggered, has made me do and say horrible things to him.
”I have been in intensive therapy for two years and I take accountability that my unresolved emotional state and temper has caused significant damage to him.
”Honestly, I hate myself and I understand why he cheated.”
After the cheating scandal came to life and almost destroyed their marriage, the couple have gone great lengths to make it ”work” – a journey that’s ”had its ups and downs”.
But although the young mum feels significantly ”better personally and emotionally”, the incident has left her scarred and with trust issues.
”I felt robbed in the sense that my marriage will never feel “safe” again.
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it’s normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
Aaron says “If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful.”
“You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don’t want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it’s an easy way to get caught out,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren’t there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
“To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven’t walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating,” warns Aaron.
”I think about his cheating daily. He has made all the necessary steps to ensure he doesn’t make the “mistake” again, like no social media, access to phone, etc. our marriage, sex life, and personal relationship has been great, however, sometimes it feels like I’m fighting a losing battle.
”It’s always in the back of my mind and I can’t seem to forgive (or forget).”
It’s not just the wife fearing the hubby may be unfaithful again – dozens of fellow Redditors warned her too.
One person said: ”He’s not worth it. He ripped your marriage apart for a quick bang and then was gonna do it again.
”No remorse about that great sex they had.
”I have no doubt he’ll do it again. It will drive you nutty when he’s on his phone too much or either of you have to travel. Your emotional state will always be on edge.”
Another agreed, urging the 29-year-old to end the marriage.
”I would personally just file for divorce. I do believe that once a cheater always a cheater. Plus the trust is forever broken.”
