DEAR DEIDRE: THE guy I’m seeing says I tick all his boxes but he still wants to meet other women. I feel as if he’s waiting for a better offer.
We aren’t teenagers. He’s 54 and I’m 56. We’ve both been married before. My husband died five years ago of a heart attack.
I’ve had years of grieving and my daughters have done nothing but encourage me to find a new partner – or at least somebody to spend time with.
I met this guy online and we went out for half a dozen dates and chatted constantly every single day. I began to develop strong feelings for him.
His first marriage lasted 15 years and his second one, three.
Apparently, that was because he got her pregnant and felt he should do the decent thing and offer to marry her.
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He’s been single now for seven years and says he’s ready to settle down with somebody again.
When I asked him whether he thought I could be that person for him he said, “Yes, I really like you and I wish I’d met you at the end of this journey rather than at the beginning. But I’ve never really dated. I’ve missed out.”
We’ve had sex twice and he said it was good. What is he hoping to gain from somebody else?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: He’s hedging his bets and that’s not fair on you. You don’t want to be somebody’s booty call. You’re looking for somebody who can at least commit to being in some kind of relationship in whatever form that takes.
You don’t want a ‘situationship’ or a ‘friends-with-benefits’ arrangement, so don’t compromise.
Tell him you want to invest time in being together and if he’s not up for that, then bow out with your dignity intact.
If it comes to this, my support pack called Finding The Right Partner For You will help.
