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I've been traveling with my two boys, ages 13 and 15, since they were babies.
When they were little, traveling meant packing a lot — of diapers, food, gear, clothes. It was almost like packing up the house and moving it with us every time we traveled. Then, I had to schedule travel activities around naps and feedings. There was a ton of planning and a lot of prep work involved.
Over the years, we've fine-tuned our travel style, and I have to say, traveling with my teens is really the best age (really).
For one thing, now that my kids are older, they are fully responsible for packing themselves. When they were really young, I would pack everything. As they got older, I would give them a packing list and we'd pack things together.
Then, as tweens, I'd have them pack alone, but I would look everything over to make sure they didn't forget the essentials (like underwear).
But once they turned 13, I handed over the packing baton completely. Yes, I still print out a packing list for them (I have my own list for myself), but it pretty much lists the basics (shirts, shorts, undies) and they have to determine how many of each and what kind (fancy or casual; the much-loved shirt that might be stained or lost, or the shorts they hardly ever wear, but don't care if something happens to then).
I don't double-check what is — or isn't packed. This gives them independence and empowerment, but more importantly, I don't get blamed when something is forgotten.
I also have them pack their own backpacks with their must-haves (snacks, gum, water bottle, devices). If they forget something important (like charging cords), it's a lesson to remember to bring it next time. It works; they generally only forget things once.
I recently traveled with my oldest to Japan and Korea for two weeks. Our hotels were booked, but we had to figure out activities, meals, and transportation.
I told my son that I'd plan the activities, but he had to figure out the subway and train in both countries. In Korea, they don't use Google Maps, so he downloaded the local app, and when we got lost or confused, he used his Google Translate to ask strangers for directions.
In Japan, I had him plan half the meals, and I planned the other half. For my meals, I asked the hotel concierge or a local guide. When he planned meals, he looked things up online and looked at the ratings. We had our own ways, but both worked.
I also have a deal with my teens: whoever does the work, the other person can't complain. If my son picked the restaurant — he loves ramen and almost always picked a noodle place — I'd suck it up and find something on the menu. Same when I picked the sushi spots.
There are moments when we get on each other's nerves, but the good thing about teens is that they are old enough to do some things by themselves. In Japan, for example, my son went shopping one afternoon, so I visited some temples. We met up for dinner.
Also, because they are old enough to stay on their own, we can tweak the daily travel schedule so we each get some alone time. I'm an early riser, so I'm up at dawn and will leave the hotel room and hit the gym, get coffee and start working while my son sleeps in a bit. He stays up late, so I put on my eye mask and earbuds, and I'm in bed at 9, while he might hit the gym or talk on the phone with friends in the hotel lobby.
On a recent scuba diving trip to Fiji, I traveled with both of my teens. We all went scuba diving in the morning — my favorite activity because it's done together, but there's no fighting since we're underwater. After the morning activity, everyone did their own thing. My younger son went fishing at the resort, my older son went shopping with some friends he met, and I went SUP. Then we came together for dinner. It was one of our best trips. We spent time together and apart.
Who knew traveling with teens could be so much fun?
