Q. Next week, I will celebrate my 84th birthday. When did I get so old? Every time I turn around it’s Friday. Time seems to go by so quickly, the older I get. Is there a reason for this? Many thanks. D.L.
Many would agree with you. We often hear people asking, “Where has the time gone? It just seems like yesterday.”
Can you remember sitting through a boring lecture? Five minutes may have felt like an hour. Or how about a boring sermon? That hour may have seemed like it was forever. Contrast that sense of time to being at a party. Time sprints by when having a good time, working on something you love and being engaged in new experiences.
We know time does not slow down, it’s our perception of it that does. This is not a new concept. Psychologist William James wrote about the phenomenon of time perception in his Principles of Psychology in 1890.
Here are some theories that affect our perception of time:
Theory No. 1: Years are relatively smaller. As we age, each year is a smaller proportion of our time. For a 10-year-old, that birthday represents 1/10 of life which is a big portion. For an 80-year-old, University of Michigan psychology professor Cindy Lustig told the Huffington Post, that birthday is 1/80 of life which is a smaller portion that contributes to the feeling that it went by quickly. Each year feels shorter compared to the total time we have lived and therefore seems to go by faster.
Theory No. 2: Theory of firsts. When we’re young, Diana Raab wrote in a Psychology Today piece, we encounter a lot of “firsts.” They might be our first kiss, our first love, getting our first car or the first day of college. It might be learning to swim or falling off a bike. We pay attention to the details of our unique and memorable experiences. The more details we can recall, the better we remember them. As we age, we have similar experiences over and over again, perceived time goes more quickly.
Theory No. 3: Brain function. This helps explain the theory of firsts. Our brain lumps time together when the days or weeks are similar. So, for an 80-year-old who may be doing the same or similar things daily, time gets blended together in one’s mind, making it feel like it went by quickly. What seems new and exciting in a single day is what makes a day or month feel different, slowing our sense of time. (Note: Many 80-year-olds also experience new and familiar experiences daily).
Theory No. 3a: More on brain function. Adrian Bejan, professor of mechanical engineering at Duke University, has a theory based on neural signal processing. With age, he notes the rate we process visual information slows down, contributing to our experience of time speeding up. In other words, “time does not go faster, we just go slower, cognitively speaking,” as quoted in a 2024 Huffington Post piece.
So how to live a life where time moves more slowly?
So, yes, time seems to go by quickly with age. But that can change by filling our lives with new activities, learning something new, being reflective, enjoying nature and doing something that makes us feel useful and productive. Then we will not be going through the motions of life; rather we will savor our moments, days and months with satisfaction and pleasure.
Thank you, D.L., happy birthday and thank you for your good question. Time is our gift. Let’s use it well. And let’s all make kindness the norm.
Helen Dennis is a nationally recognized leader on issues of aging and the new retirement with academic, corporate and nonprofit experience. Contact Helen with your questions and comments at Helendenn@gmail.com. Visit Helen at HelenMdennis.com and follow her on facebook.com/SuccessfulAgingCommunity
