THIGH gaps, muffin tops, cankles . . . these derogatory terms to describe our bodies have become part of our daily language.
But the latest slur coined on social media has left many women — me included — reeling.
If you thought “bingo wings” was insulting, think again.
In 2024, you could have “septum arms”.
No, this has nothing to do with the cartilage inside your nose.
It’s a term that has gained traction on TikTok and means: “She looks good, ’cept ’em (except them) arms”.
As a 42-year-old mum who has spent most of her adult life self-conscious about this part of her body, this latest way to overly scrutinise your limbs feels ridiculous.
Men like to joke “sun’s out, guns out”. But for the last two decades, my guns have been hidden away under sweaty sleeves, even in a heatwave.
I have never had the long, slender limbs I have coveted in other women.
She looks good, ’cept ’em (except them) arms.
TikTok 'Septum' arms trend explained
Plus whenever the sun comes out, my freckles multiply and while I am way more comfortable with them now, they didn’t match up to girls on TV or in mags when I was growing up.
Being a bit self-conscious is part and parcel of growing up and so is fixating on so-called physical flaws.
For me, my arms weren’t as toned or as sleek as the limbs I compared mine to.
I would put on a sleeveless top then grimace in the mirror when my arms lacked the tone or tan I wished I had.
Like many women of my generation, I grew up envying Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox’s perfectly toned arms as I watched Friends in the 1990s.
Rachel and Monica regularly wore tiny, fitted T-shirts which showed off their toned, tanned and — most importantly — fat-free biceps.
Girl band All Saints, who were the epitome of cool, turned up on Top Of The Pops and MTV in low-slung cargo pants and barely-there black or white vests which exposed their flawless limbs.
I was freckly and felt my pale, but frankly normal arms, didn’t match up to the beauty ideals all around me.
I swerved sleeveless tops and dresses wherever I could and assumed that a bit of self-loathing was par for the course.
In recent times I thought we had moved on as a society and had entered an era of acceptance.But it’s as though I blinked and the recent trend for body positivity suddenly passed.
Those feelings have stayed with me ever since.
The Nineties was also home to heroin chic, followed by size zero in the Noughties, where every inch of you needed to be super-skinny.
It meant that when I chose a sleeveless wedding dress to get married in 2011, I felt compelled to hire a personal trainer for eight weeks to help tone my upper arms — and I ensured I had a spray tan beforehand.
Even then, I was fixated on how my arms looked in some of our wedding pics, which is really sad looking back as, 13 years on, it’s clear to see I looked great.
In recent times I thought we had moved on as a society and had entered an era of acceptance.
But it’s as though I blinked and the recent trend for body positivity suddenly passed.
Now we’re back to making unfair and unkind judgements about how people look, for the most ridiculous of reasons.
It’s not the first time our arms have been thrust into the critical spotlight.
As the newly appointed First Lady in 2009, much was made of Michelle Obama’s toned biceps and triceps.
When she rocked those sleeveless pastel shift dresses at the White House, women the world over were desperate to find out how she got her upper arms in such top shape.
In 2013, the American Association of Plastic Surgeons announced that the number of arm lift procedures in the US had shot up by more than 4,000 per cent as women went to extreme measures to emulate Michelle’s arms.
There was even a patented procedure developed called Celebrity Arms Lipo by American cosmetic surgeon Dr Thomas Su, which removes fat and sculpts this area.
Starving ourselves, or exercising simply to fit into a certain size dress, was something women of my generation and older did in the past.
But Michelle, now 60, recently revealed that the intense cardio she once performed to maintain her sculpted guns has given way to gentler exercise since the menopause and that her fitness goals have changed.
“I am still physically active and my goal now, instead of having ‘Michelle Obama arms,’ I just want to keep moving,” she confessed.
Thankfully, after two decades of arm shame, I’ve started to embrace Michelle’s attitude and am trying to focus on feeling healthy, rather than worrying about how others judge my looks.
Now I’m in my forties, the “strong not skinny” mantra of recent years has struck a chord and I’m learning to give pointless and cruel body shape trends a wide berth.
Starving ourselves, or exercising simply to fit into a certain size dress, was something women of my generation and older did in the past.
But today there’s much more knowledge about the importance of strength, bone density and the health implications if we do not protect ourselves as we age.
Now, we are more aware of eating enough protein and doing weight-bearing exercises, not so we can wear a vest, but to stave off osteoporosis.
This means I’ve started exercising a bit more — not to look a certain way, but because I want to feel stronger as I hit middle age.
Maybe my arms have become a tiny bit more toned as a result, maybe not.
It’s beside the point.
I don’t think I’ve hugely transformed, but the routine of working out has helped my confidence.
So much so that, for the first time ever, I forgot I was in a sleeveless top as I strolled into the school yard to pick up my sons, Will, ten, and James, eight, before the end of term.
In the past, the idea would have filled me with horror and I’d have covered up with a cardigan, sweltering unnecessarily on a sunny day.
It might seem like no big deal, but it was significant for me.
I’ve come to the realisation that enough is enough with arm revulsion.
I’m not going to get younger, or develop the slim, sinewy arms of Jennifer Aniston or Victoria Beckham overnight.
Women, don’t waste your time worrying about a pointless, mean-spirited social media trend.
I highly doubt anyone is even looking at my arms anyway.
The septum arms trend is spiteful and does nothing to help women focus on what is important.
Instead, it crushes any confidence we may have carved out for ourselves after decades of shame-induced damage.
With Nineties and Y2K fashions back on the high street, I hope the associated obsession with skinny bodies is killed off quickly.
I want to wear my sleeveless tops without embarrassment and feel cool in the sunshine — what’s left of it.
Women, don’t waste your time worrying about a pointless, mean-spirited social media trend.
We all need to give septum arms the elbow.
