Source: Image by Engin Akyurt from PixabayJonika worries about whether or not she would know if she was in a healthy relationship. A survivor of domestic abuse, she feels that she is "drawn to toxic relationships." She often worries about the red flags she missed the first time and wonders if she would trust herself if faced with another potentially toxic or even abusive situation. In a session, we talked about the ways to recognize when someone exhibits signs of emotionally healthy communication and behaviors. Like many with relational trauma, the act of recognizing healthy traits can often feel foreign to her. "It's terrifying to think about being with a healthy person," she often says. "I don't know if I am ready."There is often a certain comfort level with what we know, and what we know is likely what we were exposed to during our developmental years. If our caregivers or early relationships were filled with emotional immaturity, we likely learned that these ways of interacting wit...
