DEAR DEIDRE: A RECENT stay with my son has left me exhausted and upset.
He lives with his long-term partner and their young son but the house was so filthy I felt I had to scrub it clean.
To be honest, I couldn’t relax until there were some tidied areas.
My grandson is three years old and, as well as babysitting him, I cooked, shopped, cleaned and ironed.
I’m nearly 60 and have come home more tired than ever.
My son is 33 and his partner is 31. My son does tidy up sometimes when the mess gets too much for him.
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I know he appreciates all that I do for him.
The one good thing is that, although the house is a state, they all seem very happy together.
His partner has always been messy and I can’t see her changing.
I know, too, that it is their home and I have to respect that.
But now I am back home, I feel deflated and resentful.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Your son and his family are happy and thriving, and it seems only you are fretting about how untidy their home is.
You are not obliged to do any chores when you visit.
It would be best to focus on what matters – how happy they all are – and praise their parenting skills.
Perhaps it would be better to stay in a B&B when you visit, so that you get a break from the mess.
If you still feel bothered, talk it over with familylives.org.uk (0808 800 2222).
