MO SALAH one week, Erling Haaland the next…Kieran McKenna and his Tractor Boys have certainly been chucked in at the deep end.
Seven days after Salah was on the mark as Liverpool wrecked Ipswich Town’s top flight return, Haaland did an ever more brutal job as the champions ran riot.
Haaland bagged the TENTH hat-trick of his Manchester City career, to give McKenna’s newly promoted boys a slap in the chops and a reminder of how harsh life in the top flight really is.
In the land of small mercies, maybe they should console themselves that at least it won’t always be as hard and horrible as this.
And they will, no doubt never forget the day they came to the Etihad and dared to snatch the lead…for nearly five majestic minutes they were in front.
A nightmare fixture but a dream start in the lion’s den as they pulled the big cat’s tail. And we all know what happens then.
For the briefest of spells, though, their heroes weren’t just rubbing shoulders with the best team in the land, they were actually beating them.
Just six minutes had gone when Ipswich produced a counter thrust as good as anything you’ll see all year. A quickfire break Pep would have been proud of.
One that ended when Omari Hutchinson cut the ball inside, Ben Johnson and fed Simon Szmodics, ghosting through the middle between Rico Lewis and Manuel Akanji.
The shot from Szmodics carried little venom and even less when onrushing keeper Ederson took more pace off it.
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Yet not enough to stop the ball trickling, almost dragging its heels like a stroppy schoolkid, into the bottom corner.
Stunned silence everywhere…apart from, naturally, the near 3,000 who had rocked up from Suffolk and now delirious with what-the-hell’s-happening delight.
It couldn’t last, surely. And right enough, it didn’t last. Ipswich were ahead for barely five minutes.
Another couple on top of that, in fact, and they were trailing by two. Well they do say the worst thing you can do to this City side is annoy them.
For Ipswich chief McKenna, though, it wasn’t so much conceding the goals that was most painful…more the manner in which his side did.
Pep Guardiola’s side is brilliant and brutal enough to slice most opponents apart. So giving them a helpful nudge along the way is nothing more than soccer suicide.
Yet that’s exactly what the Tractor Boys did at the Etihad. Not once, not twice but THREE times actually, with a triumvirate of “this way to goal” clangers.
First when Leif Davis dangled a leg as Savinho jinked towards him, and the Brazilian box of tricks was never going to miss the chance to go over his thigh.
Referee Sam Allison – initially fourth official but swapping places with Michael Salisbury when he cried off injured – waved away the penalty claims at first.
But then VAR David Coote advised him to check again, which meant a dash to the touchline replay, a point to the spot…and a Haaland leveller, sending Aro Muric the wrong way.
Good while it lasted then, eh. And at least Ipswich were still level – well, for two minutes or so anyway.
That’s how long it took for another dose of kamikaze defending, this time with keeper Muric the man in the dock.
Really he should never have passed to Jacob Greaves in the first place, but that was nothing compared to his cock-up when the ball was returned.
For as Muric dithered, Savinho darted, and when he blocked the ball, then hooked it to Kevin De Bruyne, the Belgian simply had to sidefoot into an empty net from the edge of the box.
Haaland could quite probably have muscled in and bagged that one as well, rather than stepping back and handing the City skipper a gift
Maybe he sensed it was only a matter of time before he got in on the act again. A new meaning to sniffing out chances, perhaps.
Because straight from the kick off KDB lofted over a static, gaping backline as Haaland raced through and nodded a bouncing ball past Muric, albeit going wide of goal as he did so.
But not too wide to produce the shrewdest of sidefoot finishes, arcing his shot so that the backtracking Greaves had no chance of throwing himself to block.
And that, effectively, was that. Three goals to City, two of them to Haaland – continuing his astonishing opening-month record along the way.
One he had to wait nearly 73 minutes to extend, before he swivelled and struck into the bottom corner just when Ipswich thought it couldn’t get any worse.
It took then Norwegian’s tally to an amazing 16 Premier League goals in August over three seasons – more than he’s managed in any other month.
What Ipswich would give for the chance to be facing him again this time next season.
