Ashlan mined a traumatic true-crime mystery, and all she got was fourth place.
Dance Moms: A New Era might just be the most sadistic show on television.
It's bad enough you have the eternally disappointed Miss Glo systematically — and gleefully — breaking down the self-esteem of a bunch of 10-year-olds and the titular dance moms wringing what's left of their own dreams of stardom out of their sad-eyed children.
But when we have one of those children forced to learn the tragic tale of JonBenét Ramsey in service of a dance routine based on her murder — and she only gets fourth place! — we've crossed over into the darkest timeline.
Investigation Discovery; Hulu
JonBenét Ramsey; 'Dance Moms: A New Era' performer AshlanOn episode 8 of A New Era, "Glo Don't Give with Both Hands," Studio Bleu is working its way to nationals, and 11-year-old Ashlan and her mom Lisa want to make sure that she gets a spot in the big, season-ending show. Glo assigns Ashlan a dance on JonBenét Ramsey, only telling the impressionable child that Ramsey was "a glitz pageant queen."
Glo leaves it up to Lisa and Ashlan to research "everything" about Ramsey, a child beauty pageant queen who was infamously murdered when she was just 6 years old in a case that continues to captivate and confound the public. Lisa follows Glo's orders, as one does, going so far as to give Ashlan the timestamps of Ramsey's murder investigation, as Ashlan clearly imprints this memory to tell to a series of therapists later on in life.
Related: Meet the cast of Dance Moms: A New Era
Meanwhile. Ashlan, the voice of reason, observes that "they should've just locked the doors" to prevent Ramsey's kidnapping and eventual murder. Despite the traumatic story, Ashlan fully commits to the piece.
"Oh my gosh, this is really not for me, but I'll do anything for the win," she says, embodying so much of what's wrong with this show, and really, America. Cut to rehearsals, and Ashlan is beating her face like Margot Robbie's Tonya Harding getting ready to lose to Nancy Kerrigan.
By now you must be wondering, Why a JonBenét routine? Good question. And there's no real answer. Glo simply explains that what Ashlan lacks in technique she makes up for in performance so she needs a performance piece to get her into nationals. Again, why exactly a 28-year-old cold case about a child's death? Much like who killed JonBenét, we may never know.
But Glo really wants Ashlan to get into character, giving her far too complex a motivation for an 11-year-old that, nevertheless, she can still relate to: "Remember, it's a really sad, tragic story. So you're playing this young child who was put on display at all these pageants and your parents want this fame and stardom for you. but is that what they really want?"
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As Ashlan is rehearsing, the dance moms are talking s— about her and her glaring lack of technique. "Why are we wasting all this time? We know what's gonna happen. Ashlan's gonna have a meltdown. She's gonna blow it on the stage," one mom observes.
Come show time, Ashlan does her best to sell a performance that viewers observed had literally nothing to do with JonBenét Ramsey.
Hulu
Ashlan performs a routine based on the JonBenét Ramsey murder on 'Dance Moms: New Era'
"How was the audience supposed to deduce that was about JonBenet Ramsey? It was weird," one Reddit user commented.
"It was extremely disturbing," wrote another. "They could’ve easily done a beauty pageant routine without exploiting Jonbenets murder."
"The dance didn't even remotely tell the story of of JBR either. Not even in the slightest!!!" added another.
For her efforts, Ashlan got fourth place and a lifetime of emotional scarring, which means she has to work even harder to convince Glo to let her perform at nationals. After getting read to fifth by Glo for her flawed performance, Ashlan tells her mother, “I kinda know how JonBenét felt. I’m never good enough."
Whatever the opposite of Peak TV is, we've reached it.
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