BREAKING NEWS
First Date Moments Away
EXCLUSIVE
Sources: Man Not 6'2" Despite Saying So on Hinge
THIS JUST IN
Woman Texts Friends: “I don’t really feel like doing this tonight”
LIVE
Both Parties Arrive at Steakhouse
HAPPENING NOW
Woman Goes in for Hug, Man for Handshake
NEW TONIGHT
Result Is Weird Handshake-Hug Maneuver
DEVELOPING
Man Pulls on Door Labeled “PUSH”
DATE OF THE UNION
Maître D’ Asks for Name on Reservation
BREAKING NEWS
Man’s Last Name Is Weiner
EXCLUSIVE
Sources: Woman Not Taking Name Weiner If This Goes Anywhere
LIVE
Couple Gets Table, Selects Drinks
HAPPENING NOW
Woman Pronounces It “Sauvignon Blank”
DEVELOPING
Couple Blows Through Jobs, Hobbies, Families in First Seven Minutes
TWIST OF DATE
Waiter Reappears to Take Orders at Key Lull in Conversation
BREAKING NEWS
Man Is Vegan
SURVEY SAYS
Pew: Seven in Ten Americans Unsure Why Vegan Would Suggest Steakhouse
NEW TONIGHT
Man Steers Chat Straight to Diarrhea Story
BREAKING NEWS
Diarrhea Story Not Landing
HAPPENING NOW
Man Doubles Down on Diarrhea Story
LIVE
Man: “It was so intense, they should call it ‘number 3’ ”
LIVE
Man: “I put the Charmin bear cubs through college in one night”
DEVELOPING
Woman Excuses Self to Bathroom
THIS JUST IN
Sources: Woman in There Texting, Not Peeing
EXCLUSIVE
Woman Texts Friends: “He said his butthole was on a ‘spraycation’ ”
UP TO DATE
Woman Returns to Table, Sees Meal Arrived While She Was Gone
BREAKING NEWS
Man Started Eating Without Her
COMING UP
Should He Have Waited? Our Panel of Experts Reacts
CONVERSATION SMARTER
Man: “So, are you doing any travel this summer?”
HAPPENING NOW
Woman Pulls Up Trip Photos on Phone
EXCLUSIVE
Sources: Man Already Knows What Amsterdam Looks Like
THIS JUST IN
Man Feigns Interest in Bridge
DEVELOPING
Someone in Restaurant Getting Birthday Serenade
LIVE
Man: “I’m not big on birthdays”
LIVE
Woman: “I love birthdays”
NEW TONIGHT
Couple Drops It
BREAKING NEWS
Sources: Now Woman Actually Has to Pee but Man Thinks She Already Did
HAPPENING NOW
Woman Decides to Hold It
THE INSIDE SCOOP
Waiter Asks If Couple Would Like Dessert
THIS JUST IN
Couple Says No in Unison Before He Can Finish Sentence
DEVELOPING
Man Holds Breath as Woman Says: “The thing about vaccines is…”
LIVE
Man Breathes Sigh of Relief as Woman Says: “…they’ve saved so many lives”
NEW TONIGHT
Diners at Next Table Canoodling
DATE-GATE
Couple Pretending Not to See Canoodlers Four Feet Away
HAPPENING NOW
Check Arrives
THIS JUST IN
Woman Offers to Split but Man Insists on Paying
EXCLUSIVE
Sources: Man Regrets Doing That After Seeing Bill
BREAKING NEWS
Woman: “Well, I have an early morning tomorrow”
LIVE
Fact Check: She Does Not
HAPPENING NOW
Man: “I had such a great time”
LIVE
Fact Check: He Did Not
DEVELOPING
Couple Exits Restaurant
SIDEWALK SHOWDOWN
Question Looms: To Kiss or Not to Kiss?
STAT SUMMER
Gallup: 87 Percent of Americans Think Kiss Would Be Premature
BREAKING NEWS
No Kiss
KISSLESS IN SEATTLE
No Side-Hug Either
UP NEXT
Why No Kiss? Our Panel of Experts Weighs In
LIVE
Man: “Let me know when you get home”
EXCLUSIVE
Sources: Woman Probably Will Not
Our post-date analysis continues live after the break.
