DEAR DEIDRE: For the last two years, I’ve had no sexual feelings at all.
My sex drive has entirely vanished, and if I try to engage in sexual activity with my wife, I can’t get an erection. I’m worried something is very wrong with me.
I’m 67 and my wife is 65. We’ve been married for almost 40 years.
Although I don’t expect to be swinging from the chandeliers at my age, I would like to have some level of intimacy.
But my body just doesn’t seem to work anymore. I feel like less of a man, and I know my wife is miserable about it.
I’m too embarrassed to talk to anyone about this, as I feel it’s not normal.
I am overweight and get tired easily, but I’m otherwise healthy.
Please help.
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DEIDRE SAYS: There’s no need to feel embarrassed.
Sexual feelings and your ability to get an erection are just bodily functions like any other.
You’re not less of a man. These issues are common, particularly in older men.
If you’ve lost your libido and aren’t getting early morning erections, you need to see your doctor.
It’s possible you have a physical condition such as diabetes, or heart disease, or low testosterone and these need to be treated.
As for your relationship with your wife, there are lots of ways to be intimate without penetrative sex.
Make sure you kiss and cuddle a lot, and try giving each other massages.
See my support pack, Reviving a Man’s Sex Drive.
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