I made a joke about my friend and now he won’t speak to me
DEAR DEIDRE: MY FRIEND hit the roof when I called him by a female name in a text.
It was only a joke but I think our friendship is over as a result.
He was so angry. I called him and apologised and said I didn’t mean it.
He kept going on about it and became increasingly worked up, so eventually I said I thought he was over-reacting.
He then told me that he didn’t want to see me any more and hung up.
I’m a 32-year-old female. My friend is 44.
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We’ve been friends for a few years and try to meet at least once a month.
His reaction has left me shaken.
I secretly had feelings for him but I didn’t tell him, perhaps just as well after this.
He always falls out with people for what seem to me quite trivial things. He seems very sensitive.
I feel as though I’ve been treading on eggshells through our friendship.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Just because something is funny to one person, does not mean it can’t be interpreted as insulting by another.
Saying it was a joke does not mean it cannot cause offence. Words matter and have consequences.
However, you should not feel you have to tiptoe around him and watch what you say in order to keep him happy.
If you can’t feel comfortable around him, it isn’t a healthy friendship.
My support pack Rows With Friends explains more.