Cepee Tabibian, 44, didn't see herself following the conventional paths to success in the US. After moving to Spain, she feels fulfilled and accepted.
Courtesy of Cepee Tabibian
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Cepee Tabibian, a 44-year-old from Houston who moved to Spain in 2015, later founding She Hit Refresh, a company that helps women move to Europe. The conversation has been edited for length and clarity.
I'm originally from Texas. I lived in Houston through college, up until I was 26, and then bounced around a bit.
My first international trip was when I was 17. For my birthday, I begged my parents to send me to the Netherlands to visit my best friend. I got bit by the travel bug.
Every year after that, I worked year-round to pay my way to Europe for the summer.
I first visited Madrid in 2001 when I was 21. Madrid is a city that never sleeps, so it felt like the first time I really had a taste of freedom.
It was really fun to go out, meet people, enjoy the nightlife, and experience the city's vibrancy.
I always say that that trip to Spain was my Goldilocks moment: I finally found where I belonged. And once I had seen the world, I never really wanted to return to the US.
In my 20s, I didn't see a clear path to living in Spain. I was in college, and back then, there weren't many options for Americans who wanted to move abroad.
At 26, I moved to Spain to teach English for a year but then returned to Texas. When I was 29, I moved back and received my master's, but eventually had to return to the States.
In America, I struggled to follow the traditional path of success. I never felt like I fit into the box — climbing the career ladder, getting married, having kids, working until retirement, and keeping up with the Joneses.
Courtesy of Cepee Tabibian
For a while, I lived in Austin. As a child-free woman in my mid-30s, I sometimes felt like the oldest person in the room when I went out.
I never felt that way when I was in Madrid. I noticed it was quite normal to be a single, child-free woman. In fact, many of the people I met when I went out were my age or older. I knew it was in Spain where I truly belonged.
At 35, I decided to give it one more shot. I felt that if I didn't, I might regret it. In 2015, I moved there for the last time.
Nine years later, I'm still here and am now a citizen.
I received my citizenship at 42, so it took just over 20 years from when I first visited Spain.
It was a two-year process in total, from the time I started gathering the paperwork to the moment I finally had the passport in my hand.
Becoming a citizen felt like a major achievement because I had dreamed of living in Spain since I was 21.
Courtesy of Cepee Tabibian
I think what attracts a lot of people to Spain is the Mediterranean climate. Coming from Texas, I need sun and warmth, and Spain offers plenty of both.
Spain's affordable cost of living compared to the US, high-quality healthcare, and low crime rates also draw people to the country. The vibrant culture and warm, inviting people make it appealing.
Getting established in the country was thrilling but also terrifying.
When I first moved to Spain, I lived in Madrid for five years. Now, I've been in Malaga for almost four years.
Madrid is like the New York City of Spain — bustling, big, and very international, with many cultural events.
Malaga, on the other hand, is a coastal town with a more relaxed beach vibe. It's a smaller city that is slower-paced, yet it still retains an international feel.
Courtesy of Cepee Tabibian
I would say I adapted pretty quickly to living in Spain since I had visited in the past. However, settling in and building a routine and community took a few years.
I love living here, but if I had to point out one thing I personally complain about, it would be the lack of diversity.
I recognize that I came from Houston, one of the most diverse cities in the US, so it's not a fair comparison. However, the lack of diversity does affect a few things, like the availability of high-quality international restaurants.
Fortunately, I can easily satisfy my craving for international cuisine by flying to Berlin, London, or Paris.
Finding long-term housing in Spain has been a challenge, even more so now due to housing shortages.
I know housing prices have increased globally over the years, but Spain has been hit particularly hard.
For example, in Malaga, where I live now, prices have increased by about 20% to 25% in the last year alone for both rentals and purchases.
If you want to move to a popular city like Madrid, Barcelona, Valencia, or Malaga, a one-bedroom apartment starts at around €1,200 to €1,300 (about $1,310 to $1420). This may seem inexpensive compared to American standards, but for many Spaniards, that's their monthly salary.
However, Spain remains affordable if you live outside the major cities, where reasonable prices are still available.
Before moving to Spain, I worked in social media, and my background was in marketing.
When I came to Spain, my entry point was teaching English, which wasn't something I wanted to do. But I was aware that I needed to find a way to support myself financially and obtain a work visa to live here.
Being American, it's very difficult to get sponsorship in Spain. Even if you have the necessary skills, you need to prove that you possess a unique skill not available within Europe.
I sent out resumes everywhere. I was very lucky. A Spanish startup was looking for an American with a background in marketing, and I happened to be in the right place at the right time.
Courtesy of Cepee Tabibian
While working for the company, it took me a year to start my own business.
I'm the founder of She Hits Refresh, a community-based business that helps women move abroad. Specifically, we assist women from the US who want to relocate to Europe, but we also serve women from Canada and the UK.
We launched our Facebook group in 2017. In 2019, we officially registered as a company.
Our community includes 14,000 Facebook members and 30,000 Instagram followers. We also offer a premium, non-Facebook subscription membership program.
We offer members resources and support through two programs: a four-day master class, where participants learn what they need to do to move abroad, and a paid membership program, which guides them through the entire moving process from start to finish.
Many of the women who turn to our company have three main concerns: career, community, and whether they are making the right decision.
I always tell my clients that, just like life, there are no guarantees. You can't know if it will work until you try it. But you can do your due diligence and have a plan before you move to better set yourself up for success.
There are definitely aspects of living in the US that I miss, such as friends, family, and, sometimes, the culture.
For instance, when I'm on TikTok and see a cultural reference or inside joke, I miss having that connection with people who understand it.
I also miss the culture of convenience in the US, like 24-hour businesses and the level of customer service.
I miss driving, too, though I don't drive in Spain. I haven't needed a car since everything is very walkable and public transportation is well-connected.
Courtesy of Cepee Tabibian
A move abroad is more than just changing locations — it's about transforming your life.
Many women fall into paths they didn't choose or find themselves in situations they don't want to be in. Moving across the world offers an opportunity to reinvent ourselves and build the life we want.
Living in Spain has brought me happiness and ease. Life here feels simpler, and I've alleviated some of the stressors I faced in the US, like the pressure to measure success through job titles and salaries.
I've freed myself from those expectations and redefined what success means to me.
My only regret is not making the move sooner.
