I saw a video of a guy describing his life as just jobs, and I can’t stop thinking about it. That is my life. Is that yours? When does life stop being jobs? What if you do so many jobs, you become a job guy? If the jobs stop, would you be okay? I’m not sure I would. Am I Boxer in Animal Farm? Too grandiose. I’m just a jobs guy.
Well, it’s 9:25 pm, I’ve been doing jobs all day, so I’m going to finish it off with one last job for the readers.
But first… I’ve been playing with ChatGPT to correct spelling and grammar when I’m tired. I used it on my notes last night and it corrected them but gave a real American twang to the work. I was not happy. Nor were the readers. I will not allow the robots to behave that way again. Not sure if you are using it as a tool right now, I am, and I tell you… it is quite useful for speed-running a lot of boring things.
Okay, onto the football.
Eddie is about to dash my dreams of him scoring 20 goals a season for Arsenal and being our full-time number 9. Did I go big for him? Yes. Did I slander people who doubted his rise? I did. Will I apologise? Absolutely not. The internet will think I’m weak. A coward. They’ll try and cancel my daily job of writing. I can’t have that, I’m a jobs guy.
The fee being touted is disgustingly unacceptable. £17m for a player who has 168 appearances for Arsenal is quite drab. Dortmund just paid €30m for some City kid no one has ever heard of. Chelsea, Newcastle, Villa, and Everton have been exchanging no-name kids for £20m. How can Eddie be attracting lower bids than a disgraced abuser? Don’t give me £100k a week as the problem. Marseille had Auba there and G******* was on big cash.
Hopefully, that’s just the offensive opening gambit and we get closer to the £30m that’d walk me back off the ledge. Auba has given the French club the big recommendation of Eddie. I didn’t realise that he was going to play under De Zerbi. That’ll be good for his career and good for the Italian who needs players that understand his ways.
Emile Smith Rowe is exiting the club for £34m. That’s a very good fee, considering the lack of minutes he’s had over the last three seasons. The videos of him moping around are a bit sad. But I’m convinced Fulham have themselves a good deal here. He’s exciting, two-footed, can score goals, create, and the fans are going to eat him up like a giant Chingford kebab.
Say it quietly… we’re getting closer to £100m.
Players I’m keeping an eye on now:
Reiss Nelson:
Steve Cooper over at Leicester likes him, I like the rumour, this could have legs… though I do worry they are PSR’d into the ground and this will be a loan with no obligation.
Zinchenko:
We saw the best and worst of him against Liverpool. He’s a great attacking player, but he gets sussed quite hard under top-tier circumstances. The injury record is also pony. Is he really going to sit it out this season and watch Timber and Tomi take his minutes? I’m not sure… he will attract a big club offer if his new agents put out the bat signal.
Kiwior:
Have you got a mate who has a separate set of friends you sometimes see and in that group is someone you meet every time and you always forget their name? Why is that Kiwior in footballing terms? He's solid, not spectacular. He’s mostly a 6.5 out of 10 every game. I don’t think he has the next level in him at Arsenal. I cannot imagine he’s not fielding calls from all the big Italian clubs… and I’d be SHOOK TO MY CORE if Premier League clubs weren’t eyeing him up. His days at Arsenal were finished by Calafiori in my opinion.
Ramsdale:
It is unacceptable that a keeper as good as Aaron has no suitors that are top tier. How can there be zero interest from the top 8 in his services? How can no one from the continent spy a deal here? I can’t accept that someone of top 4 standards can’t attract interest, but that kid Burnley bought for £20m, who failed there, managed to get a move to Newcastle.
What is going on in football? Clubs are so busy trying to spend primo money on average teenagers, they miss the types of players that move you forward… 25-year-olds with 3-4 seasons’ worth of actual experience.
There’s only one player we’re talking about coming to Arsenal.
Mikel Merino.
I like saying his name. It’s quite fun. But I don’t have an emotional connection to the name because I’m not really that excited about him. When you read Twitter tactico bores say he’s one of the most complete midfielders in Europe, you do worry this is the sort of gaslighting that had us believing Dani Ceballos was going to dominate at Arsenal. Why has no one else noticed him?
… but am I being ageist? Am I being childish? Do I forget the mightiness of signing low-fash players who can deliver at the highest level? I think so.
How could I ignore a guy dropping the highest number of duel wins in Europe? Why would I bypass ANOTHER 6ft2 player in the midfield? Is this the sort of boring under-the-radar move that Xabi Alonso made with Granit Xhaka that takes Arsenal to the promised land this season?
Maybe. But the signing is quite dry. Like a sandy cracker. Real Sociedad creative team not helping with the terrible team pics. But there we go.
That move seems all but done. We’ve binned Emile for £34m and signed Merino for £21m. Good business.
Finally, there were a few people that were chirping off online when I wrote about Arsenal renovating the stadium.
‘It’s the annual ‘we’re going to add seats to the stadium’ new cycle’ they said. Well, those folk have egg on their face. Josh Kroenke confirmed the club are exploring a stadium renovation.
"It would be premature to talk about any plans in depth, but the internal conversations are starting to occur about [the stadium]. It is not an easy renovation, but we see the possibilities of what's there,"
Someone messaged me in June this was happening. I don’t know the source personally, but they just email me every 7 years and there’s some truth every time. The story is whatever they’re planning will involve taking the roof off the stadium and going UP - a big job. I’d imagine if they’re doing that, they’ll redo corporate, upgrade the technology (which was average when the stadium opened), address the food, beer, and matchday experience, and make sure the red seats looks fresh. An extra £45m a year in revenue… half a bill over 10 years. Very exciting if true…
No way a billionaire ownership group that specialises in property and stadiums is going to let Spurs have the best stadium in London for long.
Okay… enough gassing for me. I have to take the bins out. More jobs. Check out the latest Thursday Therapy with Jacob, Matt, and me. xxx
P.S. Download the substack app if you want to get a better experience. It’s really good. You can listen to the posts and it’s easier to comment. Subscribe if you can, I’ll be sharpening the package for this season. It’ll be all the podcasts and all the premium writing. Thanks to those who have already supported the site, you’re the best. xxx
