At a rally in Reno on Tuesday, J.D. Vance made a couch joke. Well, maybe. His trademark lack of charisma makes it so that you can never really tell what he thinks is funny. Let’s rewind a bit first. Why would Vance be making a joke about a couch?
A couple of weeks ago, shortly after Vance was announced as Donald Trump’s running mate, an X user claimed that the Ohio senator wrote about having sex with a couch in his best-selling memoir, Hillbilly Elegy. This turned out to not be true (the writing-about-it part; we cannot confirm that Vance has never fucked a couch), but plenty of people still fell for it. Kathy Griffin even tweeted, “I don’t think we should have a couchf*cker as our vice president.”
So with that in mind, let’s roll the tape from yesterday’s rally. For context, Vance had been talking about the “strong women” in his life. In this clip, he’s referring to his wife, Usha Vance.
Vance: I would call my wife up here to speak but then I think I’d have to sleep on the couch pic.twitter.com/149BDw2EZY
— Acyn (@Acyn) July 31, 2024
“Now, I would call her up here to come and speak, but then I think I’d have to sleep on the couch tonight,” Vance said. “So I’ll leave her alone.”
Is this a joke? Or rather, is this a joke about the idea that people think he fucked a couch? It’s certainly a joke in the vein of “Take my wife … no seriously, take her!” But I don’t actually think it’s a joke about couch fucking. If it were, it wouldn’t make any sense. He’d basically be saying, “I’d have my wife come up here to speak, but then she’d make me go have sex with the couch.” I actually wouldn’t put it past Vance to think that’s funny.
At least one thing is clear: This rally looks boring as hell. Kamala Harris just had Megan Thee Stallion and Quavo at a rally and the Trump campaign is sending out … J.D. Vance? I know he’s the running mate, but they should really work on finding a surrogate who at least understands how to land a joke.
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