Sen. J.D. Vance mistakenly insulted the wrong iconic country music legend, a new political analysis contends.
Comedian Michael Ian Black slapped back at Donald Trump's running mate Wednesday after new reporting revealed Vance frequently has claimed childless Americans are psychotic.
"Dolly Parton is a sociopath?" Black asked. "Why? Who the hell is J.D. Vance to make these kinds of broad, grotesque statements?"
Black's brutal takedown shreds Vance's argument that parents are more invested in the future of their country and therefore deserve extra votes.
And he uses celebrities to do it.
"Lindsey Graham isn’t invested in the country?" Black asks. "Elon Musk, father of God knows how many, is somehow preferable as a person to Taylor Swift?"
This rhetorical question Black answers with a resounding no.
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"A friend of mine is a single woman in her mid-forties who has a good career, a satisfying life, volunteers, and is, by any standard, a perfectly good citizen of these here United States," Black writes. "No sociopathy detected despite the fact that she also has a cat!"
Black again returns to famous people to land his point.
"Do you know why she doesn’t have any children? I would tell you, but I have no idea," he writes. "It’s none of my godd----- business. Nor is it J.D. Vance’s. Should my friend’s vote less than Nick Cannon’s?"
The comedian can't resist taking a dig at Vance's "Hillbilly Elegy" aesthetic, arguing he wears "too much eyeliner at all the wrong events," but then returns to listing off more influential people who never had children.
"Jesus didn’t have any kids. Neither does the Pope," Black writes. "I don’t know if either of them had/have cats, which is J.D. Vance’s one-two whammy of degeneracy, but I’d be hard-pressed to make the argument that Jesus F. Christ didn’t care about the future."
Finally, Black lists of the programs and policies he argues makes it more difficult for adult Americans to become parents, namely budget cuts on social programs, book bans, school vouchers, and anti-LGBTQ legislation.
"If J.D. Vance is so concerned about the godd----- future of this republic, why isn’t he out there, using his platform, to call for increasing educational budgets and childhood assistance programs?" Black asks.
"Why isn’t he supporting gun control measures when guns are the leading cause of death among children?"
Or, as Black puts it much simpler terms: "DON’T DISS DOLLY!"
