Recently, my family rewatched one of our favorite films, “The Princess Bride.” Laughing through its fantastical story, especially its iconic “Battle of Wits” scene, it occurred to me that our 2024 election drama offers amusing parallels, from Trump’s valiant return after his presumed political death to reclaim his “True Love,” to last week’s drama of the “Switch,” Joe Biden dropping out of the race, replaced by Kamala.
Here’s my cast of characters:
Westley, the story’s hero, is Donald Trump. For five years, Westley was separated from his True Love, Buttercup (the presidency), assumed dead. Likewise, after J6 Trump was presumed politically dead. Just as Westley returned, made stronger during his absence, to reclaim Buttercup, so also has Trump returned, resilient, to reclaim the White House.
Vizzini (Joe Biden) is a puppet of the duplicitous Prince Humperdinck (the Deep State), hired to kidnap Buttercup (the presidency). Similarly, despite the media’s castigation of 2020 “election deniers,” some 70% of Republicans regard the 2020 election as illegitimate, COVID-era voting changes allowing the Deep State to hide Biden in the basement and to send him to Washington as America’s first mail-in president with 81 million ballots not amounting to 81 million valid votes.
Before Buttercup (the presidency) is forever married to the evil Prince Humperdinck (the Deep State), Westley makes his heroic return, scaling the Cliffs of Insanity in pursuit of Buttercup, evading both the brute strength of Fezzik, Vizzini’s giant (Biden’s weaponized DOJ), and possible death by the swordsman, Inigo Montoya (as Trump narrowly escaped death on July 13).
When Westley emerges unscathed, Vizzini responds, “Inconceivable!” just as Democrats incredulously wonder at Trump’s ability to evade their efforts to bankrupt and incarcerate him.
When, at last, it comes to a head-to-head battle, Vizzini says, “So, it is down to you and it is down to me. You’re trying to kidnap what I have rightfully stolen.”
That’s the perfect line on Joe Biden’s lips, accusing Trump of trying to win back what Biden claims to have “rightfully” stolen. In Vizzini’s (Biden’s) mind, he had rightfully stolen Buttercup (the presidency), since he was empowered to do so by Prince Humperdinck (the Deep State).
Recognizing the impasse, Vizzini admits, “I can’t compete with you physically, and you’re no match for my brains,” to which Westley responds, “Really! In that case, I challenge you to a battle of wits.” Interesting that the infamous Battle of Wits presidential debate, while putting Biden’s senility on full display, ended with an 18-hole challenge!
As Vizzini pours the wine, Westley explains how, in one of the chalices, he will secretly pour a vial of the deadly poison, iocaine. Setting the two chalices down, he says, “The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right, and who is dead.”
Vizzini begins his hysterical logic. “Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy’s? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.”
“You’ve made your decision, then?” Westley asks.
“Not remotely!” Vizzini counters, his circular reasoning ping-ponging back and forth. Since Vizzini’s (Biden’s) supposed brilliance is actually imbecilic, Westley mocks him (a well-known Trumpian strategy), complimenting his opponent’s “dizzying” intellect.
I find Vizinni’s long delay in choosing a chalice from which to drink wonderfully parallel to the long delay in answering the question, “Will Biden run?” His fellow Democrats kept on lying to America until after the debate’s Battle of Wits ended badly for Biden.
As Vizzini rambles on, Westley says, “You’re just stalling now. You’re trying to trick me into giving away something. It won’t work.”
“It has worked!” Vizzini says, “I know where the poison is! I choose …” then suddenly stops to point behind Westley, saying, “What in the world can that be?”
The distraction was, of course, to set up the “Switch,” Vizzini swapping the chalices while Westley’s back was turned, just as Biden has been switched out for Kamala.
As Vizzini drinks from the chalice in front of him, Westley calmly says, “You guessed wrong.”
“You only think I guessed wrong!” Vizzini laughs. “I switched glasses when your back was turned! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia; and only slightly less well-known is this: Never go in against a Sicilian, when death is on the line!”
Westley (Trump), though, having spent years building immunity to iocaine, had put the poison into BOTH chalices, so that no matter Vizzini’s (Biden’s) decision, he was doomed.
Continuing to laugh hysterically, Vizzini, abruptly, keels over. That was Biden in last week’s Oval Office address to the nation, dropping from the race suddenly, in the feverish midst of his insistence that he was running.
And that’s where we are today in my “Princess Bride” parallels with the 2024 election. With Vizzini (Biden) gone, Westley (Trump) still had to take on Prince Humperdinck (the Deep State), facing Kamala, whom the media is magically transforming into a completely different person than her record exposes her to be.
Border czar? No, no, no, she never was THAT, the Democrats and their allied media lie. Truth from our legacy media would be, to cite Vizzini, “Inconceivable!”
“The Princess Bride” ends with Westley marrying his True Love. I’m betting on a Hollywood ending for Westley (Trump), that he will win the battle against Prince Humperdinck (the Deep State) and reunite with his long-lost Buttercup (the presidency).
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