Old age has turned my father into a hateful human being
DEAR DEIDRE: My elderly father has turned into the most hateful human being and I can’t face visiting him any longer.
He’s 87 and he’s so rude to people, he lies and thinks everyone owes him attention.
I’m his son and I’m 63.
His latest untruth has really hit me hard. My wife had a heart attack a little while ago. She is doing well but needs to take it easy and I’m looking after her. Yet my father has told his neighbours and my sister that there’s nothing wrong with my wife.
Now the community centre that he visits is reluctant to take him because he’s been so rude there criticising everything the staff do.
We have always had Dad over for Sunday lunch but apparently he’s been telling his neighbours that we never feed him. His house is now dirty and smelly too.
I mentioned taking my wife on holiday to Margate and Dad asked if he could come too – it would be hell on earth. Is it wrong of me to think that way?
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DEIDRE SAYS: No – even our nearest and dearest can upset us sometimes.
My concern is that your father is showing the symptoms of some cognitive impairment like Alzheimers or dementia.
If he was normally a pleasant man to be around, dementia could be the reason behind why his personality has changed.
He may need some extra care at this time in his life. You need a diagnosis first so talk with Dementia UK (dementiauk.org, tel: 0800 888 6678).
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