The For You Page is a bi-monthly column by Alise Morales that explores, inspects, traverses, sifts through, and dives into internet culture. It’s been just over a month since the world was first introduced to Hailey Welch–better known as Hawk Tuah Girl–via a viral video posted by the man-on-the-street interview team Tim and Dee TV. In the 12-second clip outside a bar in Nashville, Welch is asked the age-old question: “What’s the one move in bed that makes a man go crazy?” She jokingly responds with a Southern twang, “Oh you gotta give ‘em that hawk-tuah and spit on that ‘thang.” And thus a mega-meme was born. But as I watched this viral moment unfold, I couldn’t help but feel uneasy about my own recent experience with unintended virality. Welch, who was working in a “spring factory” at the time the video was filmed (yes–springs like you would find in an old mattress), has since signed with a manager who is already touting “endless” opportunities for their viral client. As of June 26, she’d sold $65,000 in “HAWK TUAH ‘24 SPIT ON THAT THANG” emblazoned hats, according to Rolling Stone. She’s been featured on podcasts, been meme'd on every platform imaginable, and invited onstage at a Zach Bryan concert. As far as spitting-on-a-dick-related virality goes, things appear to be going pretty well for Welch. And that’s good! It’s ultimately a funny, charming, harmless video and she deserves to make a buck off it if she can. I think Welch got pretty lucky. But what is a person supposed to do when they’re going viral with a video that is entirely out of their own hands, and they don't end up so lucky? A few weeks ago, I was dicking around on my phone when my husband told me that a video of our wedding vows, posted by our wedding videographer almost three years after the fact, appeared on his cousin’s For You Page and had already racked up nearly 600,000 views. He was excited, but I was immediately tense. @toastweddings "Till death do us part" ???????????? #weddingvows #weddingceremony #weddingday #groom #weddingvideo #fypage ♬ original sound - TOAST WEDDINGS Sure, the moment was wholesome and posted in good faith, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned from hosting my podcast and covering social media for this column, it’s that wholesome content posted in good faith is not always received that way. Take, for example, the story of “Goldfish Guy”–a British man who tweeted about taking in a half-dead goldfish, only to be hounded by Twitter because he wasn't already perfectly prepared to immediately take in a half-dead goldfish. For the unfamiliar, “Goldfish Guy” was briefly Twitter’s main character after sharing his story of finding the barely alive fish in the middle of his lawn and having it swim around an old freezer tray until he could get a real aquarium. He was quickly picked up by Goldfish Twitter (yes, there is a Goldfish Twitter) who lambasted Goldfish Guy (his real name is Ben Beska) for choosing the wrong size tank, demanding to know the water conditions in his hastily thrown-together aquarium, and in one case, accusing him of being “MAGA,” despite the fact that Beska is British. All you morons, stop it. He's a fucking trash MAGA cunt, farming all of you people who can't be bothered with checking his posts...glad you all crowned him Prince already... https://t.co/ckfHXJRsAA — Rasmussen (@Rasmuss68534450) June 1, 2024 This is one of many cases of virality-gone-bad that I’ve followed. (Who can forget the saga of the woman who enjoys having coffee with her husband?) So when…
