Wrong. Most of us tend to think other people are basically having sex left, right and centre. But when it comes to how often your friends have sex, you’re probably overestimating that number. By a long way.
In one survey, Italian man predicted their male counterparts were having sex 29 times per month. In actuality, the number was seven. Spanish women guessed their countrywomen were at it 24 times a month, rather than the actual six. And Turkish men overestimated other males’ prowess at three times the true number – 15 times a month compared to the reality of just five.
“I always thought everyone we knew was having sex almost every night, and that I was the odd one out!” says 35-year-old Limassol resident, Nico. “I’d complain to my girlfriend that once a week wasn’t normal. But when I asked my brother-in-law, he said I was lucky, that he and his wife were so tired all the time it was usually just twice a year: Christmas and birthdays!”
Clearly, there’s a lot about sex that we get wrong!
A few years ago, a scientific study on Sex in Cyprus was released. The survey, which looked primarily at university students, seemed to prove that everyone under the age of 30 was making whoopee on the regular: over 12 months, 90 per cent of male respondents said they’d enjoyed regular sexual encounters, with five per cent even claiming to have had in excess of 10 different partners!
The study’s authors, however, were quick to note a rather large number of discrepancies in the data. ‘Overestimation for males and underestimation for females cannot be excluded. Society,’ they suggest, ‘encourages men to brag about their sexual conquests.’
“I know for a fact that my brother is totally making things up!” says 23-year-old Limassolian, Eleni. “I’ve heard him brag to his friends so many times about the girls he’s brought home when our parents are away. But we live in the same house, so I know the truth: most Friday nights he comes home alone and plays video games!”
Spurious data, overestimations, and social pressures certainly muddy the waters. But, according to new research from ZipHealth, there is one sexual statistic that’s clear: when the weather heats up, so do our hormones!
The study asked 1,000 adults from the US and the UK what they planned to get up to this summer, sexually speaking. Some of the responses were exactly what you’d expect: late night is the favourite time of day to have sex, closely followed by evening. And a quarter of participants asserted they had more sex over summer.
But the UK and the US are not Cyprus. For a start, they’re larger, offering more potential partners. They’re also more anonymous: exploring your wildest desires is easier when yiayia can’t instantly find out what you’re up to. And, most importantly, their temperatures are nowhere near as punishing…
“Look, if I lived in northern Europe I probably would be having more sex over summer!” says 36-year-old Tony, who lives with his partner in Strovolos. “Their summer is like a Cyprus’ winter. In the UK, it’s too cold to have sex in winter, even with the heating on. But here, it’s too hot to have sex in summer – you can set the air conditioning to full blast, but you’re still both going to end up so sweaty you’ll slide off each other!”
In the relatively cooler climes of Britain and the States, one in six respondents said their summer sex sessions lasted an hour. And 65 per cent hoped to try out new positions over the summer; doggy style and reverse cowgirl topped the list.
“My husband and I can just about manage 15 minutes in this heat and at this age!” laughs 55-year-old Paphos resident Kirstin. “As for positions, it’s missionary or side all the way – if we resurrected reverse cowgirl, one of us would end up in the hospital!”
Perhaps in an effort to ease performance pressure, the study does suggest that women are keen to try sex toys in the coming months. Seventy per cent of respondents said they’d be introducing vibrators, lubricants, and erotic lingerie over the summer. And one in three female respondents suggested they were hoping to have a ‘hot girl summer’ this year…
“I’m definitely having a hot girl summer,” says 49-year-old Melanie, who’s lived in Nicosia since childhood. “But not in the way I used to! When I was a kid, summers were all about having fun, partnering up, wild sex on moonlit beaches. Now, the only hot thing about my sex life is the flushes – I get more turned on when my partner brings me an ice pack than when he gets naked!”
Of course that doesn’t stop men from remaining optimistic. The study’s male respondents suggested they expected to have at least two sexual partners in the coming months (12 per cent of American respondents actually anticipated three or more; the Brits were less hopeful.)
“I think when you’re young, you like to experiment,” says 21-year-old Alex. “My dad says he used to go down to Ayia Napa to meet girls when he was in his twenties. My friends and I do the same thing – or we try to, anyway!
“At this age you don’t want to settle down; you want to see what’s out there and have fun. And summer certainly makes things sexier – everyone’s in shorts and dresses, we go out more, we’re in a better mood. When the weather heats up, so do we!”
