DEAR DEIDRE: I THREW my husband out a month ago after he punched me in a drunken rage.
I know he is an alcoholic but he is in denial and says he can stop whenever he likes.
I’m 33 and my husband is 35. He hasn’t been home once in all that time but wants to come back.
He says that he loves me but in the weeks we have been apart he hasn’t stopped drinking or attempted to show he’s trying to change.
It is a cycle we regularly get into.
He does something abusive while drunk, we argue then he promises to stop drinking.
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He manages to stop for a week or two then slips back into drinking again.
This is the first time he has been violent and it scared me so I have been strong and I haven’t let him come home, even though yet again he says he is going to stop.
He says that this time it is different.
He says he is going to prove to me he can stop, that he doesn’t have an issue.
I can’t commit to that due to the false promises he has made so many times before.
How can I trust him when he constantly lets me down? I am so lost.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Stay strong. Nothing will change until your husband admits he has an alcohol problem.
When he is sober, tell him you are worried for his life and health.
Encourage him to see his doctor. If he won’t make an appointment, then there is not much you can do.
As with all addicts, he has to want to change. You can’t force him.
You can find help through my support packs called Abusive Partner and Dealing With A Problem Drinker.
It’s time to look after your own welfare.
Find support through al-anonuk.org.uk (0800 0086 811), who help the partners and families of those with a drink problem.
