DEAR DEIDRE: LISTENING to every filthy word of my husband’s phone call over our Ring video doorbell I got the real reason behind our sudden separation – he’s been having sex with another woman.
We separated two months ago but last week, I overheard him on the phone to her as he returned from work.
He’d forgotten the motion sensors alert me whenever someone is near our front door.
As soon as I saw the image of him on our threshold, I was intrigued as it was obviously a very involved conversation.
I’m 50 and my husband is 55. We’d been married for 30 years before he suddenly announced he wanted a separation, saying he felt we’d grown too far apart.
I was devastated and confused, I always felt our life was good.
We’d always had a happy family life and I was proud of the way we brought up our three, now adult, children.
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Despite pleading and begging him to try and work things, he insisted on moving out of our bedroom but agreed we’d still live together until our house sold.
Now I’m convinced the reason he’s pulled the plug on our marriage is this woman who he is so obviously having sex with.
I’d always been suspicious of one of his younger colleagues.
She’d made a beeline for my husband at the Christmas party which I went to with him.
She had no qualms flirting with him even though I was right there.
They were always getting lunch together and he would constantly talk about how nice she was.
I once asked him if he was cheating on me with her but he just laughed it off.
All I’ve ever wanted is a happy family but it’s fallen apart. I worry that I never meant a lot to my husband as he was able to move on so quickly.
How do I move past this?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Finding out your husband is in a new relationship is extremely tough – especially when he hasn’t been honest with you.
You can tell him what you heard and ask him to come clean but be prepared that he may still refuse to talk openly with you.
Whether there is any hope of reconciliation or not, it would help to have relationship counselling, even if only to ensure you can separate with dignity.
Tavistockrelationships.org (020 7380 1960) can help you find a reputable therapist.
Try to look after yourself, as you need to be as well as possible to deal with this hurtful development.
My support pack called Mend Your Broken Heart has more advice.
