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This as-told-to essay is based on a transcribed conversation with Pat Dooling, a business owner in Boston. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
I left my high-powered career in finance and investing when my second child was born in 2018. I'd spent a lot of time traveling for work, and my hours were unpredictable. I wanted more time with my two kids, who are six and nine, and to play a larger role in their day-to-day lives.
I founded a non-alcoholic beverages company in 2023. My working hours haven't decreased from my finance days, but I have more flexibility and control over my work schedule. If I want to, I can make my kids breakfast, take them to school, put them to bed, and go to their sports matches or concerts.
My wife and I are deeply invested in our careers. She works full-time, and her hours are more structured than mine. Having greater flexibility in my schedule complements hers.
We both spend a lot of time with our kids, and, outside school and activities, they're often with one of us.
Summer is harder. People see it as a time for relaxing and vacation — it's often the opposite experience for working parents.
With the kids off school for 12 weeks, we have to figure out a complex childcare schedule. We want the kids to have fun summer experiences, and we're willing to arrange our schedules and social lives around that.
Through the years, my wife and I have learned that we have to plan our summer schedule in December. Often, that's when summer camp spaces fill up. My wife is on the computer as soon as possible to make sure our kids get a slot.
Our kids go to different summer camps in and around Boston for 10 weeks of the summer. They don't stay overnight, which means either my wife or I drop them off or pick them up from camp or a bus stop for the bus to camp.
They only got slots on the bus for two of the four weeks they're at their current soccer camp. Between us, we juggle driving them to and from the camp outside Boston each day. Sometimes, my in-laws jump in and help us, too.
When the kids are at school, they are there from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., including aftercare. Summer camps often run from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. That's a challenge requiring significant logistical planning around our work schedules.
Even though we plan months in advance, work can be unpredictable. Each weekend, my wife and I plan how we're going to juggle the week ahead. My wife had one week where she had to work until 10 p.m. each day because she had a quarterly business review and dinners.
Our kids usually attend four different summer camps over the vacation. This summer, they started with one camp for two weeks and are currently at soccer camp for four weeks. After that, they have another camp for three weeks and another for the following week.
In the final week of summer, we're going to take a few days off each to spend time with them. Sometimes, I bring them to work.
The kids attend private school, and summer camp costs us roughly the same. We have the resources and it's pretty hard for us. I don't know how some parents make the holidays work.
