As if modern dating wasn’t difficult enough, single Brits have been ghosted on average four times, according to a study by dating website Plenty Of Fish.
Ghosting, if you’re not familiar, is a way of ending a relationship with someone suddenly by stopping all communication with them, according to Cambridge Dictionary.
Being ghosted can be a painful experience, especially as it comes without warning or explanation.
Forbes said: “Ghosting takes away the opportunity to talk and process, which can allow healing.
“But without conversation, it can cause someone to question their worth, what they did wrong and if the person ever really liked them. This can lead to trauma and other severe emotions like depression or anxiety.”
According to a new study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, it’s actually a little more complicated than ghostees would expect, and more thoughtful than it seems, too.
Not that thoughtfulness excuses cowardice, of course.
Study author YeJin Park had been ghosted in the past and was already interested in the phenomena when his would-be study author approached him.
He said: “Ghosting was only further exacerbated due to COVID-19 pandemic, where most communications moved online, making ghosting even easier. When my co-author Nadav Klein asked if I was interested in studying ghosting with him, I was excited to explore a personal phenomena using a psychological vantage.”
Who can blame him?
As well as being just really quite hurtful, ghosting can be confusing for the person on the receiving end. I know in my personal experience, I questioned what I’d done wrong, what put them off me. Trying to get to the root of ghosting is something lots of us who have experienced it have been desperate to do.
Park told PsyPost that the findings can be “summarised using the words of Adam Grant, when he covered our paper on X: ’Ghosting isn’t always due to a lack of care. It’s often a misguided effort to avoid hurting someone.
“Many people stop replying to shield others from pain. They don’t realise being ignored is usually worse than being rejected. Candour stings briefly. Silence leaves an open wound.’”
Well, yes!
