A Vampire Diaries meme that proudly tells women their “attraction to toxic men began when they picked Damon over Stefan” is often spotted doing the rounds on social media. While it’s a clever reference to the love triangle that dominated the supernatural teen drama, the sentiment isn’t entirely true. Although Damon did have some questionable character traits, his relationship with Elena Gilbert, who often found herself torn between the Salvatore brothers, was more sweet than problematic.
Damon was introduced to the show as Stefan’s mysterious, chaos-creating older brother, who seemed to have a low-key vendetta against his sibling. But as the series progressed, it became evident that Damon was initially (and eventually – depending on which season you’re watching) a gentle soul. He used sarcastic bravado to hide his pain and mask his heartbreak. By the time the show ended with Season 8 in 2017, the version of Damon we were left with was a real sweetheart.
Viewers first got a glimpse of the real Damon Salvatore in Season 1, Episode 19, titled “Miss Mystic Falls.” Stefan, struggling with his bloodlust, lies to Elena and tells her his cravings are under control. She heads to the Founder’s Day Gala with Caroline to compete in the Miss Mystic Falls pageant. However, the event becomes a drama-filled mess when Elena finds out that Stefan is drinking human blood again. The couple has a huge fight, and Stefan leaves Elena without an escort. Without her having to ask and without being a jerk, Damon steps in and saves the day. The pair share a beautiful dance while “All I Need” by Within Temptation amplifies the moment. This was the first time Elena (and viewers) saw the softer, kinder side of Damon.
After getting confused for her 1864 vampire doppelganger Katherine, Elena is kidnapped in Season 2, Episode 8, titled “Rose.” Damon, Stefan, and Bonnie do their best to locate and rescue her. Once she is found and safely dropped off at her home toward the end of the episode, a vampire named Rose visits Stefan to tell him Elena is still being hunted by The Originals. At the same time, Damon visits Elena to return her necklace, which contains an anti-compulsion herb called vervain. Just before she can put it back on, he pours his heart out and admits that he loves her. Before she can respond, he compels her to forget the conversation since she is already in a relationship with Stefan. It might seem insignificant, but that gesture proved how unselfish Damon actually was. He was willing to keep his feelings to himself because of how much he loved Elena.
One of Damon’s sweetest moments came in Season 3, Episode 22 titled “The Departed.” The story finds Elena under threat from the villainous vampire Klaus, whom the Salvatore brothers are trying to neutralize. When it becomes evident that escape might be the only option, Matt insists that Elena leave Mystic Falls for her own safety. Somewhere in the chaos, she chooses Stefan as the one she loves despite her feelings for Damon. The logic behind this decision is that she met Stefan first, and if it had been the other way around, her choice may have been different. However, a flashback shows that Damon happened upon Elena first–before her parents died. They had an interesting chat about life before he compelled her to forget about him since he didn’t want anyone in Mystic Falls to know he existed yet. Damon keeps their meeting a secret to spare Elena from any added heartache.
Damon was always a better brother to his younger sibling than Stefan was to him. While Stefan often saw Damon as problematic, Damon looked up to Stefan even though he was older and always came to his rescue. In Season 1, Damon made sure the wooden bullet Logan Fell fired did not kill his brother. In Season 3, he saves the younger Salvatore from a forced friendship with The Original vampire, Klaus, who had compelled him into servitude and forced him to turn off his emotions. When Stefan was dead and trapped on The Other Side (which was disintegrating) in Season 5, Damon volunteered to trigger the explosion Bonnie needed to cast a spell that could save him. He didn’t have to think twice about the decision. Damon acted on instinct because he was always a sweetheart. He just hid it really well.
