Courtesy of Rachel Stolba
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Rachel Stolba, a 32-year-old former B2B tech marketing senior manager based in Los Angeles. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
I worked in B2B tech marketing from my mid-20s to my early 30s. After working long hours for little money in PR, I just wanted to get my foot in the door, but I stayed longer than I expected.
I worked my way up in my first company quickly and began earning a six-figure salary when I was 30.
In corporate America, the next promotion or milestone is always dangled in front of you, and it's easy to get caught up in that. I also had some really great mentors, so I tried to convince myself that this was my path.
In June, I finally quit. When I resigned, I felt relieved. I have anxiety about my next stage, but it's nothing compared to the thought of staying unhappy.
I'm not sure I have ever felt happy during my career.
About a year and a half ago, I left the company I'd been at for six years. I was getting recruited often, and it felt like it was time to go. Looking back, I'm not sure switching companies was the right move.
At my most recent company, I was a senior manager, made six figures, and lived comfortably, but I was miserable.
My company's headquarters is in New York, but I worked remotely from LA. I couldn't build connections internally as I did in my last job. I felt really isolated, and it affected my mental health.
I tried to move to Chicago last year, but it didn't work out.
I've always dealt with depression and anxiety, but last fall, it started getting very bad. I would vomit after stressful meetings, and I started having panic attacks. It all came to a head after my request to move didn't go through.
They approved the move, but then after I made plans and told people that I was moving, my pay was cut by 20%. I wasn't able to negotiate the change. I had to cancel my plans, as living in Chicago wouldn't be 20% cheaper, and the pay cut would've hurt.
Then at the peak of my depression, my dog died. I was in a really low place. I felt myself becoming bitter and always assuming that people had bad intentions.
A few days before a work trip to Madrid, I went to Morocco. For the first time in years, I felt like the best version of myself. It was an amazing experience.
I was instantly more patient and kind to people and felt free from the corporate world. I began to see the good things in my life again.
Last year, I became completely debt-free for the first time. I realized that I have no partner, no kids, no home, and no longer care for my dog. My only responsibility right now is to make myself happy.
I've always been scared to leave the corporate world because I don't have much liquid savings, stock options, or investment accounts, but I began thinking about what actually makes me happy.
I came home from Morocco and decided to fulfill my work responsibilities through the end of June and then quit. I started saving and opened an LLC to support myself.
I have one consulting client, and it's my mom's company. She's semi-retiring, and I'm helping her manage marketing for her small business.
This is helping me build my portfolio and earn side income. Although I haven't gotten any additional clients yet, I'm confident more opportunities will present themselves. I may even end up pivoting outside marketing.
I can't afford to live in LA without a job, so I'm giving up my apartment and moving to a surf town in Mexico called Sayulita. I know a little Spanish already, but I plan to keep learning.
I've lived in my Culver City studio for four years now. Leaving a permanent home, letting go of so many of my physical things, and having nothing to really 'come back' to is incredibly nerve-wracking.
On the other hand, I'm excited to be free of these ties and have this incredible adventure I'm gifting myself.
When I was choosing where to move, I looked for an affordable town in Mexico or Central America so friends and family could visit relatively easily. I needed somewhere that wouldn't require a car, and I wanted a place with an expat community, but that wasn't all retirees.
I targeted surf towns, looked into apartments, and narrowed it down to three options: Tamarindo, Costa Rica, San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua, and Sayulita, Mexico.
I decided on Sayulita because my friend of a friend spends half her time there, and it's the easiest of the three for friends to travel to.
I really want to see what my life looks like when I have all the time in the world to dedicate to improving my mental health.
Just making the decision helped my mental health — particularly my anxiety. I no longer felt stuck.
I'm preparing a podcast for my friends and family. I bought a mic, and I've been recording clips about my journey. I'll publish the first episode as my announcement later this month.
I've only told a few friends and my parents, so it's been my little secret until now.
Want to share your story? Email Lauryn Haas at lhaas@businessinsider.com
